Month: December 2021

It’s cold outside. The blue-tinged snow and the ice frosted in the sky serve as evidence that winter means business. For the next five days, the prairies are in the grip of a polar cold spell. I have no intention of going out for a walk in the countryside as the “feels like” temperature is -44 Celsius with a real temperature of -34 as I write this post. There is no winter playground to be enjoyed between now and New Year’s Day. An extreme cold weather advisory is a disincentive to travelling to visit family during this “festive” season. It’s a good thing there is central heating and a fireplace in my house. Enough with the weather report. It’s time to get down to the subject of sexuality and the senses.

“Man has no Body distinct from his Soul for that called Body is a portion of the Soul discerned by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul …”

William Blake, The Marriage of heaven and hell, 1790

I began the topic of sexuality almost three weeks ago and then retreated as I participated in the outer world dynamics of the season and family. There are no visitors left in the house, and with nature convincing me to stay indoors, I decided to return to this pressing topic. The first thing I did was to head to my bookshelves in search of a more psychological understanding. Most of the books were either avoiding the topic or stuck in some mythological treatise. Then, I came upon one of the few books I have yet to read by Thomas Moore called The Soul of Sex. There it was, the dirty word “sex” on the cover. Now this looked promising.

In the world of naturism, we tend to separate, that is to keep a safe distance between a nude body and sex. It is a strange thing as there is no question that we all have sexual organs and that the skin is the body’s largest sexual organ. Separation is the guiding principal – separation of the body and mind from sexuality. That separation fits well within our modern world which treats body, mind, and soul as separate entities. We see a doctor for the body, a shrink for the mind, and a religious leader for the soul. And as a result, we have issues, issues with Eros which is often believed to be physical sex. C.G. Jung said otherwise back in 1928 when he said in one of his dream seminars, “people think that eros is sex, but not at all, Eros is relatedness.”

Now, I have long believed that I was a naturist. Of course, I had my own idea of just what a naturist was. It is all about how one sees and understands oneself. I am a sexual being AND a naturist as I have come to know myself. When I am engaged in a sexual experience, like everyone else, my body is engaged, my senses are heightened, and my mind creates a story of the moment. The attempt to be fully present is waylaid by my imagination. Thomas Moore has these words: “We can’t appreciate the deeper dimensions of sex unless we consider the poetics of this body that speaks to us through sensation.” It is sensation that takes us deeper than a mechanical interaction.

The challenge as I see it, is for us to go deeper within to find our full story as humans. The sum total of each of us includes our senses which in turn constantly remind us that we are sensual beings. I want to end today’s post with the following words by Moore. It was with these words in mind that I put the above photo of myself into this post.

“The body is always available for poetic reading, and there is no need to become rigid about a particular way of interpreting it. Each person, each culture, each historical period, and each theory has the right to its own storytelling based on images that lie piled on each other in every inch of human tissue. The skin is thick with the stories, told and untold, already explored and yet to be discovered.”

Thomas Moore, The Soul of sex, p. 20, 1999

It has been a while since my last post here. Why? No real reason comes to mind other than my urge to write has been quite low. It has nothing to do with depression or whatever. The writing muse has decided to take a winter vacation. On this side of the screen, life has been filled with family, shovelling snow, a bit of time with neighbours, going for country walks and reading. I have done more reading in the past two months than I have for the first ten months of 2021. Ten days ago, I got my third vaccination shot for Covid 19. And yes, I still wear a mask when in public spaces as it is required here in my province.

Covid has been the primary topic of conversation since it continues to impact on our “normal” lives as travellers. Typically, I would be preparing for a three-month absence from our home to someplace warm where I could walk more wearing a lot less. I doubt that our travels will begin anytime soon as our borders are becoming more and more difficult to cross. The most that I am hoping for in terms of travel, is being able to attend a grandson’s graduation in the U.S.A. I missed his older brother’s graduation because of Covid19 in 2020.

The world, at least my world, is not all about Covid. I had three books published in the past year and all three have had decent sales with no advertising effort on my part. I have other books in various stages of progress though most are on hold as I mentioned at the beginning of this post. I imagine that this will change once the world of a prairie winter settles in after the New Year.

I can feel it in my bones that I am getting older. I make that statement based on my ability to relax more easily. I also make that statement based on my physical body’s signals that I am not as young as I once was. Perhaps I am approaching the calm attitude of an elder. Though I continue to walk, usually a six-kilometre walk in the countryside each day, I don’t feel as “fit.” My body is softer for the most part. And strangely, it is all okay.

Today, Christmas Day, it is -23 Celsius at 2:00 pm. The sun is out and the wind has diminished to a breeze which means that once this post is published, I will head out into the countryside for another walk with my wife. Once back home, we will work together to make our evening meal, have some wine, and enjoy being alone together. As for clothing, yes I will be wearing clothing as it is too cold to hike on the winter prairies at these temperatures wearing nothing but the skin I was born with – well, not exactly the same skin, you know, cells replace themselves periodically.

Merry Christmas!

I have just read a book by Marilyn Foxworthy and it was a challenge. The author claims to be a woman and I have to accept her claim. The book is erotic and blatantly sexual in content. I don’t read erotica, at least until this instance. There is already too much sexual activity in too many books for my liking. However, that said, it is obvious that this isn’t the attitude for many, many people who buy erotica, or even steamy romance novels. So, why did I read this story?

The cover image appeared to suggest a naturist theme, and I was intrigued to see how the author would deal with the issue of nudity, in what could be a pre-historic setting. The book soon told me that it was set in modern times, yet at the same time, it was as though it was trapped in some distant past, Neanderthal times. And the story was erotic, while making it appear that when the mind, the ego was set aside, there were no sexual boundaries, other than those that grew out of fear. And that set me to thinking. This post isn’t a book review. It just takes a book as a catalyst for wondering.

I am a man. I am a sexual being. I love having sex with my partner. And I have had only this one partner. I haven’t lost desire or wonder when it comes to engaging in sex that is wrapped in mutual feelings that I can only describe as love. Strangely, these feelings aren’t limited to when we are nude. I feel the pull to her even when she is clothed. Being nude doesn’t automatically mean sexual activity either. I find it empowering when we can relax beside each other while both of us are fully vulnerable. Yet, I am still a man and I would be lying if I didn’t admit to desire creeping in.

As a modern man, I truly don’t know much about “natural” human sexuality, nor about my own sexuality. I see other women who are nude at times and feel no desire emerge. This is a common occurrence at most naturist resorts and campgrounds from what I have experienced. Those women and assorted men who are nude, are simply nude. I see many images on social media of both men and women who are nude. Again, there is no visceral response. Yet on occasion, there is a response. And that is confusing. Is this simply a guy thing? Or, do women have the same types of responses?

Listening in on social media, it would appear that for the most part, naturists have little to no sex drive. If that is the reality, then I would not qualify to be a naturist. I have a sex drive that is easily kindled by my spouse. All it takes is a certain smile, and I am undone even if we are both wearing clothing. And then there is the impact of the visual dimension. To accentuate all of this sexuality and sex drive, is the element of touch.

I think that modern men and women are suffering greatly. We are in such a hurry to distance ourselves from the perceived “dirty” world of sex, that we hide from each other in layers of clothing, layers of language, and multitude layers of denial. We embarrass ourselves, even when alone, by those sexual desires that push from below our contained sense of self. We don’t want others to know that we are uncivilised beings. And in the process, we forget and deny our “natural” human nature.

We don’t want to talk about it lest others think we are perverts. Though curious, we would never ask another, even one’s mate, to talk about sexual matters. Of course, even if we did find the courage to speak openly, there are so many layers of unconscious protections based on millenia of suppression, that the conversation dies a quick death leaving both sides wounded and perhaps angry and frustrated. Humans have long ago stopped being honest with themselves, and as a result, they are unable to be fully honest with a mate.

So, where to next? Do we risk the dialogue? Perhaps in a safe space such as this? Or, do we silently nod and pass by leaving it all unspoken? There are no judgments being made.