Nu comme le jour où je suis né

Month: June 2017

Shadow and Light and Relationships

Overcast and chilly

It’s one of those days here on the Canadian prairies with cloud, wind, showers, and a temperature hanging around 9 C. This is a sharp contrast from yesterday when it was in the mid-twenties, sunny, and enough breeze to keep mosquitoes hiding in the grass.

Of course, this is all to be expected. Nothing stays the same for very long. Though appearances may be deceiving, change is constant, and that includes pyramids, stone castles, and old Roman structures found all over Europe. So why do we expect anything different when it comes to people?

With warmth comes a change of heart

So often I hear the complaint from either or both parties in a relationship – “He’s/She’s not the person I married. She/He has changed.” And always, without exception, that is stated with the belief that the other has betrayed them by changing. For the most part, the biggest change that happens in terms of the “other” in a relationship has nothing to do with the actual changes in that “other”. Rather, it is how the “self” changes their perceptions of the other. The rose-tinted glasses clear up and we now begin to learn about this strange person we’ve committed ourselves to in a relationship. We withdraw projections, those unconscious things that come from within us that somehow attach to another person with whom we find a compelling attraction. We then come face to face with the reality of the other person. With hard work and commitment to make the relationship work, both parties can remain relatively happy and satisfied with their lives joined together. That is, until midlife seems to open a Pandora’s box within each of us. And believe me, the box will open whether you want it to open or not.

What emerges once passed the crest and sliding into the downward journey towards death, the ego begins to crumble. All of the barriers that hold the dark contents within oneself begin to crumble. Long lost aspects of oneself: the good, the bad, the ugly; begin to leak out and contaminate and confuse our sense of self. To survive, and even perhaps thrive following this dissolution of the old self, one must acknowledge what emerges and somehow integrate what emerges in a psychologically healthy manner. Too many abandon their partners, throw themselves into causes and lifestyles that anaesthetise the psyche. Meaning becomes invested in stuff, in dollars, in a new partner where the focus is projected outwards rather than face the facets of oneself that begin to emerge.

So what then happens to relationship when one, or both parties, begin to honestly deal with the shadows that begin emerging within themselves, and correspondingly, within their relationship? I think I will leave answers to another post. I invite you to respond to what appears here in this post. What resonates? What grates?

Life Modeling with Lanie

Lanie as a Life Model

I have made quite a number of friends, both male and female, who have carved out a new role in their lives, that as a nude model for life-drawing classes. One of these new friends is Lanie who is seen here in a number of images from her modelling sessions.

I am not sure if the positive self-image comes first, or if it builds as one risks such intimate exposure to others, especially when those others are unknowns who look closely at all the folds, bends, blemishes, and whatever it is that we don’t value about ourselves.

I imagine that there must be a certain level of self-confidence for even the first modelling session to take place. As well, it is likely that the more one poses, the more self-aware and self-confident one becomes. After all, the more one is nude in front of others, the less that nudity becomes a worry. Nudity becomes the norm. There is little doubt in my mind that with time and increased modelling experiences, life outside the art studio begins to carve more space for nudity, increasing the time spent clothing free.

Having fun

However, I wouldn’t be so certain that one becomes a nudist or naturist as clothing often becomes part of the exploration of one’s exploration of self. One becomes more conscious of self-presentation.

I conclude today’s post with a fun photo of Lanie which radiated self-confidence.

I wonder if I would ever dare be a nude model? I wonder if anyone is looking for an older male life model for art classes? It’s a rhetorical question for my life is rather too full to make time for this. Thanks, Lanie for being my model here.

EPW – Lenti, Hungary

Eight days of hiking and 215 kilometres done not counting the extra kilometres walked in various locations once our destination for each day is completed. It’s enough to make a man feel a little fatigue.

Many spots along the way would be conducive to nude hiking, however, not with the group I am walking with for the EPW. As well, some wilderness locations demand full body coverage with nettles growing more than waist high. They bite.

I imagine that some enterprising individual could create safe trails in Hungary for a nude version of the Peace Walk. That said, I am enjoying the walk as it is designed.

EPW – Day Five

In the library in Szentpéterfa

Since our lodgings for the night are in the community centre in Szentpéterfa, which includes a library, I took advantage of the opportunity to check it out. The library showed no signs of human activity, so I risked a few photos such as this one with a bank of three skylights. From what I found out, the school uses the  library with rare visits by other community members during the day. All the books are in Magyar, the language of Hungary which made for no desire to sit and read for relaxation. Knowing that my alone time in the library was coming to an end, I put my clothing back on. Moments later, I was thankful with the sounds of people coming up the stairs verifying my intuitive guess.

One interesting thing I learned was that the community was predominantly Croatian,  making up about 80% of the town popular. Our accommodations were in the community gymnasium which meant we all slept on the floor in our sleeping bags.

%d bloggers like this: