The next post on the soul of sex is on hold for awhile. I have to admit that my focus has been elsewhere. I am in the process of writing/rewriting a story which originally was to be a Jungian novel with a Jungian psychotherapist as the protagonist. Now, the story has morphed to have the protagonist a university professor. Likely known to many of you, I have had more years of teaching than I have had as a psychotherapist. Of course, the psychological element will continue to be present, however the story will be more reader friendly as the people become more typical of the average person who will get to read the story. The characters are younger as well.
The biggest change is that naturism is more evident, naturism as typically is experienced by today’s younger adults. Naturist resorts are not a part of the story, however social nudity is an integral part of the story. And of course, as with almost every story that has ever been written, there is love to be found. Oops, I guess I haven’t really abandoned the soul in sex theme after all. Soul enters into all relationships. It doesn’t matter if it the male/female, female/female, male/male, or involving those who find themselves in transition from one gender to another. Relationships demand soul. And this becomes the heart of the new story.
Now, I need to get back to the story which now sits at just over seventeen thousand words.
I just returned from a sojourn at my son’s home where I got to play extensively with my three grandchildren in the house. My son and his wife also got some of my attention – but not near as much as their children. With my return home, a few chores were waiting for my attention such as shovelling off the driveway before moving on the clear the pathways in the backyard, including a new path to my old propane barbeque which will get a workout late this afternoon.
My next blog post will return to exploring more of Thomas Moore’s book, The Soul of Sex with Joy’s images making their own statement about sexuality, rediscovering one’s sexuality, or rewilding as Joy terms it. Today’s post is more mundane as I am not ready to do the research to make a decent post of a psychological nature. Like is mostly mundane anyway. There are more chores yet to do today and a longish hike to take since the weather is mostly cooperative, excepting wind.
Anything I do within the house is always done clothing free. When outside, I wear clothing because it is winter, so that means the hike will be done while wearing clothing. With my wife, it is a different story. She loves her clothing. We are different people and we accept that difference …. for the most part. Naturally, there is no such thing as 100% compatibility between two people who are in a relationship. Even if we were both naturists or both textiles, there are many, many more factors that prevent one hundred percent accord. The primary difference that causes the most separation is the mind.
Both parties of a relationship come with a history. Differing environments while growing up, and each household even within the same dominant culture, leads to different responses to various physiological and psychological stimuli. What is more important are the hidden from self and other aspects, one’s unconscious contents. Despite that separate history, two parties in a relationship can decide to go with that which they are aware, those points of contact which result in mutually satisfactory feelings. For example, we both love walking, winter and summer, especially walking together.
Of course, as in our situation, there are more things we share than which keeps us apart. And even then, we have learned to do different things while still sharing space and time. Another example, I write while nude and she does her thing while clothed. We can see and hear each other while we are separately engaged. There is no attempt to try and control the other. And there lays one of the key deal breakers in a relationship – the issue of control.
I want to start off today’s post with a statement: I don’t equate masculinity or femininity to men and women respectively. They are principles of orientation and self-understanding. Gender is gender and not one’s psychology. Biology is a different story. The genetic code is fairly clear on one’s biology. One either has a y chromosome or one doesn’t. No amount of self-identification can change that fact, even if one has undergone a surgical procedure to change the visible evidence of one’s biological gender.
The mind is a different story. I am a man and I identify as such. Joy is a woman and identifies as such. That said, I am far from an alpha male. I am soft and caring and don’t take charge and don’t do well in leadership roles. Joy is strong. She builds houses and renovates others, a typical “male” profession. As a man, I am often found wanting. I am told I “should be” more like a man and less effeminate. Yet, the evidence of my physical body says otherwise, just as the evidence of Joy’s body affirms that she is a woman.
The problem in our modern world is that we want to control others where and when we can’t easily control ourselves. That problem given our current economic situation where one can survive outside of a relationship has resulted in an inordinate increase in divorce and separation.
“In our society, sex is wounded by a deep-seated masochism, which finds distorted satisfaction in the suppression of desire. This masochism is a symptomatic and destructive form of surrender. Instead of giving in to our passions, allowing emotion to course through our bodies and psyches, and generously offering ourselves to intimacy, we surrender our joy in life to any authority we can find and we find many authorities willing to condemn us for our longings and pleasures.”
Thomas Moore, The Soul of Sex, pp 16-17
And as Jung once said, what is suppressed consciously will find a way to escape. We suppress our sexuality and it re-emerges, usually in a manner that is unhealthy. We see the evidence in our modern world. Nudist gatherings and venues are vested in controlling sexuality, promoting the idea that nudity and the nude body are just nude and have nothing to do with sexuality and sex. Churches have long done the same doing their best to have sex become only a source of procreation rather than an act of joy. Sex is equated with sin, and sin leaves everyone feeling guilty for having repressed desires. We are in a mess and our soul suffers. Getting out of that mess takes a lot of work, work the Joy calls re-wilding, a return to being the original self as a woman or as a man.
Okay, in case the title wasn’t clear, I am wishing you a Happy Naked/Nude New Year in both French and Scottish Gaelic languages. I don’t know much Gaelic other than through language study. Why the interest? Obviously there has to be a connection with ancestry. I speak French and English with relative ease as they are the languages of my parents. My ancestors also spoke Gaelic in Europe, and Anishinaabemowin [Ojibwe Language] and Kanyen’kéha [Mohawk Language] in Early North America. Happy New year in Mohawk is Ohserá:se! In Ojibwe it is Minawaanigozi Oshki Biboon. Regardless of the language,
This morning I began a new journal. I am somewhat regular in keeping it. Since 2013, the journal has also contained skyclad images. Not every entry has such an image, nor is every day given an entry. Travel and visiting is often the most likely reason for omissions. Do you keep a journal?