Nu comme le jour où je suis né

Month: May 2021

Processing Images and Words from the Past

Blogging on the deck

It’s morning time and I am sitting on the deck listening to the birds sing in the sunshine. The robins are especially noisy with a few grackles trying to compete for sound space. I have the yard to myself at this time of day with no little kids visiting their grandparents on either side of my home and yard. Breakfast waits until as late as possible while I enjoy a windless morning though the temperature is only 9 Celsius.

The forecast for the day is +23 with only a breeze in sunshine. That means we will go for a walk into the countryside later this morning, a clothed walk. Once that is done, I am getting out my trusty rake to rid the front lawn of winter thatch before mowing the lawn. That has been delayed because of a lack of rainfall this spring.

I get to go for my second Covid19 vaccination tomorrow morning, something that I have been looking forward to for some time. I have a strong feeling that I will need it as we are on the cusp of opening everything up on the Canadian prairies. All but one of my children and grandchildren, with the exception of the 2 and 4 year old’s, have at least their first vaccination done. I am so looking forward to the day the border between Canada and the USA opens up so that I can visit once again our middle child’s family. Zoom isn’t the same as face-to-face.

Relationships. Our lives are centred around our relationships, and I don’t mean only the “couple” versions of relationships. Extended family, neighbours, work mates, and even those people whom we could easily categorise as undesirables. I have to add to this list, people who are no longer in our lives but whom have touched our lives in one manner or other. If a person ends up in therapy, there is always an issue about relationships. Our issues, whether we seek mental-health therapy options or not, are grounded on these relationships that go back to the first interactions between infant and adult. No one escapes these issues. How we deal with them is a different story.

I am bringing up this topic because of my recent foray into my older journals. I am trying to clean them up so that they aren’t messy, at least the journals that exist in digital form. The paper-based journals are a different story. They will remain as they are. The digital journals often have images included. The words tell a story and the images amplify the stories told. I guess you could say that a person’s blog site or Twitter feed, and cousins such as Facebook and Instagram do the same. It is amazing what is revealed, even when one doesn’t intend on revealing closely guarded glimpses into one’s inner psyche.

Do you journal your life? How do you tell your story in your own words? Social media? Do you rummage around the past through images? What do you avoid and why? How do you process what you find in those words and images?

Somethings to think about.

Water Nourishing the Naked Soul

Fresh rain for our Cactus garden

This morning, I woke up early as usual to find that it had been raining for a good portion of the night. It was a very gentle rain that had filled our rain gauge to the half inch mark. After the first cup of coffee, the idea to put our houseplants, which are predominately cactus plants, outside so that they could be nourished by the rain was made. Though it was only 8 Celsius, I carried them out wearing my best waterproof outfit, my skin. My bare feet did get quite cool, but the plants will love me for the effort.

This is the first rain of the year in our corner of the universe where the drought has meant that there is a fire ban in place. Hopefully, enough rain falls to allow campers to have camp fires. The gentle rain is expected continue until midmorning tomorrow. I went back out to fill every pail that I own with rainwater from the rain barrels so that the water will be available for the garden should we return to an extended period of no rain. Water is life. Even the plants in a desert need water from time to time.

The idea of a mother nature that is also the goddess of the sea, is as ancient as human memory, an archetypal image that is embedded in all of us below the level of conscious knowledge. In so many cultures, this archetype is depicted as nude. It is only in the modern world that we somehow have cloaked the goddess in material to hide her. Not only do we pretend that mother nature is shamed by her natural nudity, we drape all young mothers-to-be as their children are born.

Venus emerging from the sea

It is hard to imagine a goddess of the sea and the mother of the earth that would feel shame, yet that is what art now demands. The same is true for the god of the sea. Like his consort, he must now be rendered sexless. A loin cloth or an artfully draped swath of material somehow becomes part of his costume, even when he is in the sea. Modern sensibilities demand nothing less as the thought of gods and goddesses being nude, skinny dipping, and engaged in creating the world is too much to handle. Naked dreams send them scurrying to see a therapist with worries that they are somehow becoming perverts in their minds.

Life emerged from the sea. Each new life also emerges from a sea of its own, an umbilical sea. And, every single life form emerges into the world without artfully draped material hiding their nudity. Yet, almost at the moment of birth, human babies are swaddled and not because of the air temperature. It is not seemly for a baby to be naked. Humans are strange and irrational beings who need to feel the rain on their bared bodies, get in touch with their roots, the archetypal gods and goddesses who had no fear of their bodies or their sexuality.

Am I Missing Something?

Am I missing something?

The world has changed over the past year and something tells me that it will never go back to the normal, whatever that might be, of the world before Covid19. When I leave my house to go to get a few groceries or a needed something or other from the lumberyard, I check to make sure I have a mask with me. At times, I find that I have walked a few blocks towards a destination, only to have to go back home and get a mask when I realise that there is no mask in my pocket. Strangely, it is as if without a mask when in contact with others, I am vulnerably naked. Emma sent this photo with just that sentiment in mind, “Am I missing something?”

Strangely, for many naturists, there are two sides of this question. The second side is “Am I missing out on something?” How do I mean that? Well, I can best explain by giving examples. When I drive from point A to point B, I see spots where I could be safely nude without drawing undue attention of others. As I pass that spot, I have this tiniest sense of loss at not experiencing that opportunity to be nude outdoors. It’s irrational as the journey is purposeful, and not a pilgrimage to another nude experience. Yet, there is always that “what if I stopped” thought that distracts from the primary purpose.

A second example. I go to a neighbour’s home for a glass of wine and hors d’oeurvres. In all, perhaps there are four or five gathered. All of us have had at least one vaccination for Covid19, all of us are “senior” citizens, and all have seen me nude in my yard or house at some point or other. None have complained to me or made a fuss about seeing me nude. Yet, the charade of me being anything but a nudist gets played out with me wondering, “what if I took off my clothes?” It’s that thought that infuriates me as the primary purpose is the social moment with others, none of whom are even slightly interested in nudity.

As I said above, the world has changed and it will not return to the way it used to be. Over the past year and a bit, more people have doffed their clothing to work in comfort from their homes, only putting on an item of clothing to cover their upper half when on a video conference. The assumption is that if your chest is bare, then all of you is bare. Of course, there are “accidents” such as happened with a virtual sitting of government when person A didn’t realise that his camera was on as he returned from a run and stripped out to get ready for his participation in a virtual sitting of the House. With so many feeling liberated to be nude within the confines of their own homes, will there be that urge to expand opportunities to be nude? My best guess is, “yes!” Will other people really care one way or the other if they see someone nude? Again, I think more people will just shrug their shoulders and perhaps give a grin while they go on with their own lives. Of course, there are others who will be offended. But then again, they will always be offended by anything that differs.

So, “what am I missing” can be answered with a thin ray of light that states, “maybe nothing.”

Getting By, Staying Busy

Digging out raspberry roots

I am digging myself out of a communication hole as you can see with this image. I have been busy with a number of things, some of which were necessary and some of which were diversionary. The latest project was to remove the raspberry patch because it was damaged by deer invading our yard this past winter. In the photo, I am turning over the soil as the plan is to put in some potatoes, spinach, zucchini, and squash. I hope to finish the turning of the soil by tomorrow at some point.

Yesterday, I raised the fence between my yard and the neighbour’s driveway, one of the entry points for the deer. The old fence was raised about a half-foot. I will make sure that there is no large snowbank to climb to make the jump into the yard that much easier. Through the wooden slats, I was open to the view of passing traffic, as well as to the view of my friendly neighbour who has seen me nude, perhaps too often from her point of view.

The fence between here and there

Two days prior to this, I raised the fence, seen in grey wood in the background, which was the primary entry point. These boards went up a good threequarters of a foot. And yes, I wore tan-through Kiniki briefs to do the work. There is no need to frighten neighbours with so much of the fence taken down.

Yard work was only part of my busyness, the productive part to be sure. I had put my major piece of writing on hold as I focused Zen-like, on compiling a summary of my life as a naturist. That work began it’s journey in December 2004 and made it’s way to the summer of 2019 before I stopped. Photos make a huge part of that story. I felt it was necessary to put it all together as my “journals” are spotty. I keep a naturist journal, and have done so since around 2009. However, over the years, many of the journals were tossed into the fire, so-to-speak. Not only were the photos that accompanied each entry nudes, but the entries themselves disclosed too much as I felt it at the time. I feared discovery and what the consequences of the disclosures. Of those original naturist journals, just the last two years are relatively complete. 2017 was totally disappeared. If you know my story, then you will be familiar with the messiness of my life. It’s all in the three volume autobiography.

Of course, that soon led me to searching through my archive of nude photos to help fill in the holes for the new story. Naturally, I found holes there as well. I am able to find a number of the disappeared photos via the “allphotos” feature with Windows. Rather than explain that, I will leave it to you to Google and fill in the blanks. With all of the rummaging around in the past for these tasks, depression decided to accent the experience. I’m still not out of the depression woods, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it isn’t all shadowy.

Somehow, that and a rare visit during Covid19 season to my son’s helps account for my absence, not that it really requires any explanation. Being able to see my grandchildren after a five month hiatus was balm for my soul. And that, is it for now.

World Garden Day

April 17th – garden tilling

It’s WNGD in the northern hemisphere, unlike the southern hemisphere where winter is preparing to make its own debut. The truth is, I was in the garden two weeks ago, wearing nothing but sunshine. Today, it was quite cool outside, with wind and showers on and off. It definitely wasn’t World Naked Gardening Day here. On the up side is the fact that I got to spend a few days with my youngest grandchildren, something not so easily to accomplish during this Covid19 pandemic. For four days we are their caregivers as their parents are busy with life.

The hours race by at breakneck speed from the moment the first one wakes until the last one is tucked in for the night. I had thought that my hiking would be on pause until my return home but the two year old loves being outside. Between the stroller and the escaping to wander free of the stroller’s seat belts, I have two days of four plus kilometre excursions. Added to it is a walking nine-hole golf round with the eleven year old. Yesterday, the highlight was having the freshly turned earth trickle through his fingers. This was followed with some time collecting twigs and dead grass which he placed in the stroller to take home.

Today, he and I went for another long walk. Before we headed back to the house, we met up with his sister with the objective of collecting spruce cones for painting. There is small green space behind their home where we go in search of forest treasures. When I think about it, there is no doubt in my mind that this has indeed been a Garden day. The natural world is a garden and we have been celebrating the natural world.

I hope your world is in touch with Mother Nature today and for as many days as you can.

%d bloggers like this: