I was up very early this morning. When my wife goes to work for the early shift, we get up around five. We then have coffee while sitting on our love seat which has a view that looks out the window. By the time she leaves, it still isn’t light out and it will only get darker, longer until the winter solstice which is just about a month away. I have always been a morning person so I don’t mind…
It’s Remembrance Day and it snowed again last night. I’m not sure why I wanted to go out into the snow without my clothing. I really wasn’t all that warm, so I didn’t stay out there very long. Well, maybe I do know why. This whole idea about being fully present in life has a lot to do with the senses. When it comes to my typology, Sensation is my weakest function. Opposed to Sensation is Intuition the strongest of…
Last night was Hallowe’en and we had about thirty-five young people come to get treats. Giving out treats is my task. We had enough stuff for at least a hundred and fifty kids, so I ended up giving more that I would usually give. Why did I buy so much when the past numbers of treaters was always similar? Perhaps it was my hopeful mood. I am better and it shows to my wife, our neighbours and our children and…
While I was in Calgary from March through June, I ended up becoming a Buddhist. I took refuge and spent time studying dharma. I was looking for a home, a place where I could meditate with others who wouldn’t judge me. Just how much of a Buddhist did I become? I have to be honest, I just don’t know. It isn’t like I have a burning desire to join a monastery or to spend hours every day in studying the…
It has been a while since I have written here, a long while. The analysis came to an end in the summer and I went to France to walk two-hundred and sixty kilometres in less than two weeks. I walked alone. I meditated at various rest stops and again in the pilgrim lodgings found en route. I had thought I would walk all the way to Santiago de Compostela in Spain, but I chose to go home when my wife…
I have made the decision to return to Canada as soon as possible. I won’t be teaching the second term at the university. I have contacted my psychoanalyst in Calgary so that I can begin to spend time in an intensive round of therapy. I can’t do this on my own any longer. I hate giving up with my classes and my students, but I can tell that I am in trouble. With that decision made, I find myself able…
We are in Thailand for the term break. Since my last post, I have been struggling and have found it harder and harder to teach. Even my students noticed it and they showed real concern. I was so thankful when the term ended so that we could spend a month in sunny Thailand where I could recharge enough to make it to the end of the school year. Neither of us are stressed out with teaching in China. If anything,…
Term one exams are administered, marked, and term reports were submitted. It was time for the winter break. We chose to go to Thailand for the warmth and hopefully to regain our bearings. Well, to be honest, I was the one who lost his way. On Christmas Eve, I had a flashback that floored me. I won’t go into it here. It is enough to say that my sanity was seriously in question. It was with relief when we landed…
The full moon was out recently and I watched as it was engulfed by the earth’s shadow. The event was shared with a few others, some of whom could speak English, but most of whom could only speak Mandarin. In spite of the barriers to communication, the event built a sense of connection, of community. The full lunar eclipse seemed to open a portal to the unconscious allowing for an easier dialogue. Christmas is only two weeks away and we…
It is hard, harder than I thought, coping with my mother’s death. I am left wondering why as we weren’t very close to each other. Because of a dysfunctional family history, I was more than glad to live at a significant distance from her with visits usually limited in time every second year. There was no respect for her, other than that she was grandmother to our three children. There wasn’t any way for me to bridge that distance, especially…