It is hard, harder than I thought, coping with my mother’s death. I am left wondering why as we weren’t very close to each other. Because of a dysfunctional family history, I was more than glad to live at a significant distance from her with visits usually limited in time every second year.
There was no respect for her, other than that she was grandmother to our three children. There wasn’t any way for me to bridge that distance, especially since she always denied that there were problems in our home when I was young.
Perhaps it is because I missed out on being able to get resolution to my questions and closure. Today, my wife took this photo of me in a place that I had chosen for meditation just off the beach. I am amazed at how nurturing and supportive she has been for me, especially as I challenge everything she knows with this strange behaviour of my nudity.