I am hesitating in putting this image here. I know that it is a photo of a penis, but I don’t think I could call it a dick pic. There is nothing sexual about it. There is a story behind the image that needs telling. But before I tell it, I have to say that I am not doing well mentally. I have fallen into a depression. Or, perhaps I should say that a long term depression has been building up and affecting my way of relating with the world in general and my wife in particular.
Two days ago while I was laying on my back on our bed in the middle of the afternoon, my wife placed this bandage on the tip of my penis. She said something about it being broken. Why she said this, I don’t know and I didn’t ask. I was too depressed to engage in conversation. I was wounded to my psychological core. Perhaps it has been partially about having too much time on my hands with too much thinking going on in the background. My Jungian Lens blog posts have been “heavy” and digging deep into masculine psychology.
My wife recognized that I was suffering, as we have been down this road before in the 90s before I went for psychoanalysis. Her action was about caring and trying to add a bit of humour. I am blessed to have her by my side as I ride these waves of depression. So what had set off this round of depression? I think we both saw my lack of purpose and meaning at the heart of it. There will have to be some changes if I am to get out of this swampland of the soul.