It’s a waiting game as my surgery is finally set for Thursday, June 6th. It appears that my blood pressure is up. I go for a pre-operation appointment on Monday afternoon. Needless to say, I am working on bringing the BP down a bit as I will be having the hernia repair done under local anaesthetic. Part of my strategy for bringing the BP down is to reduce my coffee intake to two cups of coffee or less per day, and to increase my walking distances and/or walking speed. Once I have the operation, it will be a few days before I can again walk with some level of comfort.
Yesterday, I travelled again to Red Deer with my wife to visit our son, watch the grandson play ball, and wait for the newest grandchild to appear … we’re still waiting as I write this. Now, since we are in a city, the walking will, of necessity, be done clothed. The city has a great pathway system which allowed me to push myself.
One of the things I have failed to mention in the past few posts, is the fact that I am using a Garmin watch which gathers GPS data for my hikes. I am putting it to the test as I learn the various features of the watch. Since we will be hiking a lot in Europe this autumn, I want to know enough to help me better track distances and stops for photos.
As with the past few days, I again went out for a second walk which was done clothing-free. Again, I drove out to the pullout at the end of a lightly gravelled country road which then turns into a dusty, dirt trail used by an occasional farmer doing the work of seeding, spraying, and crop-checking. The crop is now in the ground and the farmer won’t be back for a while until it is time to spray post-emergent herbicides. Yes, I am getting a handle on farming lingo.
It was later in the day than I had wanted to leave for this adventure. The delay was caused by a need to be at home to get three bales of clean straw for our garden – the straw is shredded by the lawn mower, then spread over the garden to keep valuable moisture in place. Summers on the prairies are typically hot and dry. Finally, the bales were delivered and I was able to leave. Once the truck was parked, I slipped off the shorts I had been wearing and proceeded to head out to enjoy the sunshine.
At the 1.6 km mark, I set the backpack with my meditation pillow and blanket on the rock which I have chosen as my afternoon meditation location, weather permitting. Then, I continued on to reach the “end of the trail” so to speak at two and a half kilometres, marked with a sign that signals that the road I had just walked was closed. Since there was no farm or town or connecting road, the road I had followed wasn’t really a road at all. I did have to walk along following tractor tire marks through a newly seeded crop. This was the end of the trail the last time I walked while nude. However, today I wanted to go further.
Once passed a gate that was open [no cattle running wild in the pasture and hay field] I followed a barely discernible track through the field. Another opened gate had me continue walking further, inviting me to see more. And more I did see such as a young Mule Deer buck who looked at me, walked a few steps, then continued to munch on the grass as if I wasn’t there. At a third gate, which was also open, I stopped to look at some yellow flowers, buffalo bean flowers if I am not mistaken. I could have kept on going, but it was getting late in the afternoon, so I began the walk back to my truck, taking a different trail along the edge of the field, closer to the shallow lake. In the end, I walked just over 7 kilometres completely free, for the second hike of the day. Next week I am hoping to tackle the hills on the south side of the valley, extending my distance.
As is my practice when it is cool outside, I sit in my office to meditate. This morning was an indoor meditation even though the sun was out. Then, it was time for breakfast. With the morning meal out of the way, we got ready for our daily countryside hiking. We began the walk wearing wind jackets because of the cool northern breeze. By the 3 kilometre mark, the jackets were ditched, tossed onto the side of the road to be picked up on our way back home.
We walked longer than our planned 10 KM hike, going an extra two kilometres as it was so beautiful out. As we walked, three Pronghorn antelope crossed the road in front of us before stopping to stare. Seeing no threat, they decided to slowly meander as they fed. We often see deer and antelope on our walks here on the prairies. On the return, we decided against picking up the jackets as it was hot out. The plan was for me to return with the truck and pick them up. It was a plan I readily accepted. I had a plan.
After lunch, I drove to pick up the jackets and kept driving until I had reached a point about 800 metres further than we had walked in the morning. It was the place I usually parked when I wanted to walk the prairie hills, free-hiking. Of course that meant hiking without my shorts on. My destination was to find a place for a second meditation, one that would be in full sunlight. I carried a small backpack with blanket and pillow for my meditation, as well as my shorts in case I came across a rare farmer or oilfield worker.
About a kilometre and a half into my naturist hike, I found the perfect location for meditation. From my seat on the table-sized stone, I could see a distant lake, as well as the prairie hills. I set my meditation time on the tablet and was able to slip into the best meditation that I’ve had in a long time. The time slipped by without my head creating too much chatter. I knew I would be returning to this stone many times during the summer.
And then, with meditation done. I continued to walk down the dirt trail as I wanted to measure the distance to my turn around point, a sign that proclaims, “Road Closed.” The walk back to the truck was a bit more brisk that the first half. The final distance five kilometres, or in different measuring terms – thirty minutes of sunshine, both back and front. Bliss!
It’s a bit of a gloomy morning with the sun not making an appearance through the clouds. As a result, my time outside this morning close to non-existent. One benefit of this kind of weather is more time spent indoors writing. It has been a while since I last posted here, so I made it a point to put up a new post just to let all know that all is well.
As the blog title says, I am busy waiting. Grandchild number eight will arrive within the next five or six days. We have agreed to be at my son’s home to help take care of the other two grandchildren as life begins to adjust to a third child in the house. This is a pleasant kind of waiting.
In addition to waiting on another grandson, I am waiting for an upcoming minor surgery to correct an abdominal hernia, something that needs to be addressed before the end of June in my opinion. Since we are heading to Europe for six weeks in the autumn, I want to be in great shape for walking and touring while carrying my backpack.
Regardless of the weather, we go out for a walk almost every day. Of course, I wear clothes as we walk along country roads that are busy with passing tractors and half-ton trucks. We walk between 5 and 10 kilometres for these walks.
And, of course, I am working on editing and writing two different books at the moment.
Rewilding is a process, a journey. Not many dare to take such a journey. In Jungian psychology terms, a life event usually propels one to answer a call to discover the depths of self, to make a heroic journey of individuation. Often the call is subtle, and sometimes the call is a matter of life and death. For me, it was truly a matter of life or death. Because of others around me – my wife and children, I chose life. However, that’s just the start of something bigger.
For me, it was a matter of restructuring life because of a change in my mental state. I was propelled into risking change, hoping that those important to me would still be there on the other side of the process of self-discovery.
Individuation is about self as individual and most often those who risk the journey through the shadowlands are seen as selfish. All that most can see is that those who retreat into the inner spaces leave them on the sidelines rather than at the centre of attention.
There is a difference about self-discovery with the intent of becoming a more authentic person who is better able to be in relationship to others, and being narcissistic. Most people do their best to please and care for others. Mothers are masters of this, typically sacrificing time, energy, and self-care to meet the needs of their families. As for fathers, there is often an equal selfless quality demonstrated as self-needs are buried in order to earn the living and be the parent that children need.
Both men and women learn this at an early age, the role of being a caretaker, taking care of their tiny world by appeasing the powerful adults in their lives. Those who don’t learn to be selfless, are self-centred something reinforced by parents who reaffirm in so many ways that they are at the centre of the universe, little emperors and empresses – kings and queens of the universe.
Beginning the journey of individuation or rewilding is an act of changing the way one is in the world. The constant parade of choices come as a result of living an examined life and making corrections so that one’s psyche ends up pointing to the “self’s” true north. Each of us has a unique journey to make, that’s why it is called individuation.
My journey began as a cerebral, spiritual journey as that was who I was. My body was basically just a container for my mind. I have to admit, that though I have learned to connect to my body, it is still an ongoing spiritual journey for the most part. As I age, I am coming to grips with my physical self, learning to honour the body.
The act of rewilding, just as the process of individuation requires that we constantly return to the outer world bring what we learn about ourselves to the world around us. As we change, we affect changes in others, sometime for the better, sometimes resulting in losses. Regardless, at least we end up living more honestly and authentically. I don’t expect or demand from others.
Others have to take responsibility for themselves. Of course, if you are raising children, there is a real responsibility to honour that responsibility. Like doctors, being a parent requires that we consciously choose to do no harm. Yet as we age, we also have the responsibility to teach them about being honest and authentic by how we live and navigate in a complex world that would have us be docile and obedient.
I am finally settling down after a few days being back home from a visit to my son’s house for Easter. Since my return from Ecuador in early April, I have been anything but settled down. This is not new territory for me as it is always like this when we return home from our three-month winter stay in southern climes. The difference this year is that I am being gentler with myself, more open to accepting the small things that fill my hours, days, and life.
In Ecuador, I stopped formal meditation. I blamed it on my left knee which began to be an issue for me last August. However, I didn’t stop meditating. Rather, I switched, unconsciously to walking meditation. Since we walked about two hours non-stop almost every morning, it didn’t take long before we both disappeared into our breathing and the spaces in between. The walking meditation became a daily conscious choice that fuelled my soul.
Now that we have returned home, the walking meditation has continued. Yet, I need more. I did manage outdoor meditation once with weather conditions being friendly. However, it is still April and sitting meditation indoors is the only sensible choice to make. The truth is, it doesn’t matter when or how. It all comes down to simply taking the time to meditate.
“Remember, life consists of small things, there are no big things. Small things accumulated become big things. A single act may not look very significant either as evil or good. A single smile may not look very significant, but a single smile is part of a long process. … Do not belittle your failures, do not belittle your good acts. Each and every act is significant: If it is bad you are going to suffer; if it is good you are going to enjoy life. … Life consists of small things, and you have to transform each small thing through your awareness, watchfulness, alertness, into a beautiful act. Then, ordinary things can become extraordinary.”Osho, The Journey of Being Human, Prologue
This lesson from Osho is one that I take to heart. Such as small thing as taking time to meditate while stripped of every artifice, being my authentic naked self, is a beautiful act. It isn’t a designer label activity, something to show others how important I am. Rather, stripped I become just another human. Beneath our outer trappings we are all naked and vulnerable. And that, is a beautiful thing in itself.
We arrived home a little later than planned as we stopped in the city for a meal out with grandson number two and his significant other. It was a luncheon that was well worth the delay in arriving at home. There is no snow on the ground, not a good thing for the farming communities here on the prairies
Now, a few days later, I am ready to return to a more regular writing pattern.
The main writing project is volume one of a historical series that opens with a scene in France with Rollo, the Viking who becomes the first ruler of Normandy. The volume isn’t about Rollo though he does have a significant role at the beginning of the work. His son, Guillaume de Longue-épée, has a more important role before the story shifts to recount the tale of yet another man who then becomes the central character.
But before I can devote most of my time to writing new content, it is time for me to prepare my taxes. I sell books and the income must be declared as taxes. I have a pension and that means I have to pay taxes. Rather than complain about paying taxes, I have to admit that I am thankful. Why? Paying taxes means that I have money coming in. Imagine not having enough income to require paying taxes. I am blessed.
It was a night with very little sleep. After only a few hours of sleep, the bed started to shake as if it was a prop for the Exorcist movie. For a brief moment I thought I might have been dreaming and that the bed would fly off as if a magic carpet. Earthquake!
A few minutes later, a second earthquake. And then twenty minutes after that, a third earthquake. By that time, my wife and I noticed that the traffic had gone from fishing village sleepy to on high octane. People were outside, some running, most just standing around … waiting. We soon made our way outside to wait. The loudspeakers came to life as the mayor addressed the community. Apparently, the threat of a tsunami was dismissed. You could feel the relief in the air though no one was in a rush to head back to bed. About a half hour later, we returned to our casa and went back to bed. Eventually, sleep did come.
We stayed safe. Mother nature had decided it wasn’t our time yet. We slept in until 7 this morning. Yes, that is sleeping in for me. Then, it was time for coffee to be drunk on our upper balcony, my outdoor place where being nude doesn’t intrude upon others who don’t expect the challenge of nudity while on vacation, or by villagers who are conservative and catholic here in Ecuador. After breakfast, around 9:30, we got ready to go out for our daily beach walk. It was sunny and the tour busses had been rolling in for more than two hours. Now, it’s just another Sunday in Olon, Ecuador.
It has been almost three weeks since my last entry. For some reason, I found myself locked out of my website by WordPress. I wonder what that was all about? Regardless, the door is open after so many attempts, so I will take advantage of it and post while I can. So what’s new? I have finished all of my tasks regarding editing and rewriting. The new book is now published and is already selling eBook copies. March is proving to be a very good month with more than $60 worth or royalties to be paid out. I will not be doing any writing or editing until I am back in my office in Canada.
That said, I am doing some work in the background to enable better marketing on my part. Naturally, that means I am already contacting book stores about future signing events. I hope to get two such events planned for April, and hopefully three or four for May. With any luck, another six events will be scheduled for June. I will take July through mid-October off. The summer is a poor time for sales in bookstores. And, since I will be in Europe for six weeks beginning in September, I have no ability to sell books. After all, while touring, I will be carrying everything on my back in my trusty 40 litre backpack. Therefore, the focus will have to be on the eBook market. But enough of that for now. Time to shift topics.
My naturist activities will soon be reduced to indoors with central heating turned on. No more being on the deck while nude when I am at home in Canada. April is not exactly outdoor naturist season in Canada. It will be necessary to acclimatize after these past three months in the tropics of Ecuador. Hopefully, I won’t lose my colour while waiting for warmth and sunshine on the prairies. However, I till take what I get as there is no point in having any other attitude. C’est la vie. I am fortunate enough to have a home with central heating, and an electric space heater as well. Now, with these words written, I hope that I will return again, soon. Until then, take care and be well.
There is a problem in the world of naturism. Well, the problem isn’t just in naturism, but more about the use of the word, naturism. When I look at the many people I know in the face-to-face world who claim to be naturists, I am beginning to think that perhaps no one is a naturist. The word is too hard to define.
That said, there is a consensus in the “naturist” community for what the word is supposed to mean. Nudity is front and centre. Add in the idea of being in one’s “natural state” whether indoors or outdoors, doing “natural” things while “au naturel.” Meditation, hiking, housework, reading, watching TV, a picnic, exercise, sunbathing … the list is long as it includes anything you can do clothed, the normal activities of one’s life.
It is in our images where we need to look when in search of what exactly is naturism – the ideal. It’s a concept which seems easy to understand – no clothing, natural activity, no agenda for the nudity other than as a state of being. We can all get there from time to time. However, just as in meditation, one can’t stay there. Alan Watts basically said the same about not being able to stay in a state of Zazen as a Zen Buddhist. We basically are humans, needing no permission to be human as we stumble in and out of more than one philosophy.
I am a Buddhist … at times. I am a Jungian … at times. I am a naturist … at times. I am a normal textile person … well the normal part is iffy … at times. I am an author … at times. I float in and out of roles and personae as does everyone else. How do I, or you, put a label on who we are. I know that for this blog site, I self-identify as a Canadian Naturist.
However, That is only one part of being a complex being. One thing that is central to the naturist philosophy, for that is in the end what it is, is the state of not being sexual, with a sexuality intent. It isn’t pop-porn. It isn’t for titillating others. It isn’t about hooking up with others. There are a lot of “isn’ts” and that is important to know.
Yet, those isn’ts are about naturism, not about being human. We are sexual beings, with sexual desires. We are individuals who need the interaction with others. There is a hierarchy of needs that need to be met as humans and no one philosophy: Christianity, Buddhism, Naturism, consumerism, or whatever – which can provide us with all of our needs. What we need to do is to become better aware of ourselves, make choices that allow us to be ourselves in our best version, and accept we are as authentic, unique humans. And somewhere along the way, have some fun.
