{"id":707,"date":"2018-06-27T12:54:00","date_gmt":"2018-06-27T18:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/?p=707"},"modified":"2025-11-07T13:15:53","modified_gmt":"2025-11-07T19:15:53","slug":"not-the-big-sleep-others-as-mirrors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/not-the-big-sleep-others-as-mirrors\/","title":{"rendered":"Not The Big Sleep – Others As Mirrors"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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In my neighbour’s yard<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In the photo above a few days ago, I was in my neighbour’s yard. I strayed out of my own yard. Was this a form of cheating on my wife, to potentially allow another woman to see me nude? This neighbour has seen me nude a number of times while I was in my own yard. On those occasions I didn’t even think such a thing. And then, I reread Sharp’s book, Not the Big Sleep<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daryl Sharp sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable, a good thing if one realises that one needs to feel uncomfortable if one is to make the necessary changes to become a better person. In the quote above, Sharp where in\u00a0Not the Big Sleep<\/em>, one character states that the prerequisite for a good marriage is the license to be unfaithful. I could hardly believe my eyes in reading this, a statement that seems to condone extra-marital affairs. But when I calmed down, I wondered if that was really what was being said. What did Sharp mean when he said \u201cthe license to be unfaithful\u201d?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cNo one person can fill all our needs all the time. We can plumb our own depths to some extent, but we still need others to mirror who we are.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I know that this unfaithful business is about one\u2019s partner\/spouse or some significant other. When one invests in uncovering and discovering who one is beneath the surface of ego, and in the process uncovers and discovers more about the person with whom they have invested, the relationship changes. Does a person feel guilty for seeing themselves in a different light? It may seem that in placing self ahead of other, that is a betrayal. But, I am getting away from the topic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am an ordinary person. I see a beautiful-to-my-eyes woman and I respond at some level or other, physically, psychologically, and sometimes emotionally. At that moment, I am being unfaithful in a way. As my wife has often explained, it isn\u2019t necessary to have sex with another person to be unfaithful. Women know this truth. So how then do we stay together? I mean, is there even one man amongst us who has never \u201cstrayed\u201d in thought, dream, desire, wish, or instinct?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hmm \u2026 I think I know what Sharp is now talking about. We need to give each other the gift of \u201cothers\u201d who can mirror more of who we are. We need to trust that what holds \u201cus\u201d together in relationship has a foundation that could survive either being unfaithful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it isn\u2019t just about sex, one can be unfaithful in a variety of ways such as \u201cnot holding faith\u201d with a particular belief system or life style. When one partner adopts naturism while the other holds to a long-held life style where social nudity is held in very low esteem, the choice presents itself \u2013 accept or not accept. If the move to naturism results in a deep negative response, then one exists in a relationship where there is no \u201clicense to be unfaithful\u201d <\/em>to the original container of the relationship. It is as though one has \u201cslept with the enemy.\u201d <\/em>So many of my friends who are naturists found themselves unable to keep their relationships together. Naturism became the mistress, just like money had become the mistress in other failed relationships where the \u201csignificant other<\/em>\u201d stopped being at the centre of the universe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few pages further into the book, another line leapt out at me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cPartners often stay together long past the time when their relationship has ceased to be mutually satisfying.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I think I\u2019ll have to come back in another post to wrestle with this quote. I need to look at my own relationship and the relationships of others I know who have been married for quite some time to get some perspective.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the photo above a few days ago, I was in my neighbour’s yard. I strayed out of my own yard. Was this a form of cheating on my wife, to potentially allow another woman to see me nude? This … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-707","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/707","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=707"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/707\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":713,"href":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/707\/revisions\/713"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=707"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=707"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rglongpre.ca\/naturism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=707"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}