It’s snowing again. It appears that winter is here to stay until spring. Today is the second day of NaNoWriMo – the National Novel Writing Month. So far I have written more than 7,000 words of the 50,000 word target for November 30th. With the weather being what it is, I don’t imagine I will be tempted all that much to spend much of my time outdoors rather than at the keyboard.
As for what I am writing, it’s a mystery, even to me. Other than having already planned for a cast of characters and location for the story which is set in today’s world, that is about all I know.
I finished the revisions of the third book of my autobiography and it is now out to several Advance Copy Readers before I take the next step of publishing. If any of you wish to become one of these readers, just drop me a note here in the comments section and I will get right back to you. Now, it’s time to add in another few hundred words while there is still time today.
It has been a while since I have looked at James Hollis’ book, Why Good People Do Bad Things, so it just felt right to bring the book out from the shelf where it has lain idle. Why? Well perhaps it has to do with the fact that being nude, even in one’s own yard, is doing something bad when it comes to the modern world. If nudity wasn’t “bad” from a societal perspective, I wouldn’t worry about being seen. Yet, there is a need to worry in my part of the world. It only takes one phone call to the local law enforcement agency to have the weight of the society deal with my “bad” behaviour.
Of course other naturists/nudists wouldn’t view my nudity as me doing something bad – maybe for some, my choice of place and time for nudity would be viewed as a bit controversial or risky given the environmental and societal conditions surrounding my nudity.
Getting back to the book, I found something in it that bears repeating here, a quotation that fits what I am talking about.
As children, we learn to “read” the world around us to find what is acceptable, what is dangerous. Many learned that matters of sexual character were not permissible in their family or religion, and so associated their own natural impulses and desires as something evil, or at best furtive and contaminated. [p. 205]
Nudity, in spite of all the noise made by naturists and nudists to the contrary, is sexual. One’s skin is the body’s largest sex organ and allowing oneself to free the skin from the constriction of clothing elicits a sensual presence to oneself. Sexual does not mean that being nude implies that one is on the verge of copulating with another person (willingly or unwillingly on their part). Sexual does mean that one’s sexuality is not disguised or denied as though that sexuality – bare skin, exposed genitals (overt or implied) – was indeed something to be ashamed of.
Toddlers exhibit a “natural” way of being when they lose their clothing to run freely in their “birthday suits.” We teach these toddlers that it is unacceptable to be natural in this manner. We, as a society teach our children based our beliefs that come from religion, societal prejudices, law, and our personal world of unconscious complexes.
Hollis goes on to explain further.
The by-product of our necessary collusion with the realpolitik of childhood vulnerability is guilt, shame,inhibition, and most of all, self-alienation. We all, still today, reenact these collusions, suffer this shame, and retreat from our wholeness. [ibid]
And here we find the hidden roots of body shame. Because of the silence from others, the self comes to believe that he or she is wrong in being different, even bad. Stolen moments for nudity where one feels pure joy, soon turns to feeling guilty for standing outside the norm. After all, everyone else can’t be wrong, right?
I will be back. Until then, ask yourself a few hard questions and see just how much you want to avoid admitting that this also speaks about you and your experience.
Naturism is a therapy, nature’s therapy for the soul. There is no better way to simply experience the fullness of being alive in the world than to make oneself fully vulnerable to that world. It doesn’t take long for a person to “fit” within the natural world, the world of nature, when one chooses to be intimately present.
When one risks being fully and authentically present in nature, it is a process called rewilding. Tossed away are more than one’s clothing. One is stripped of persona and becomes the primal human, the original man or woman before the artifice of social constructs.
Daring to be a primal man, I have found that I am able to get much closer to animals, to be seen as less of a threat when I put myself in their environment without need of camouflage, of clothing. When there is a need to hide, there is an aura of danger that then emanates from one’s body and psyche, an aura that permeates the natural world which then becomes wary of something unnatural in the shadows. Animals quickly disappear. Not only animals, but that vulnerable inner-self returns to the shadows to hide.
Yes, making oneself vulnerable is risky, very risky in our modern western world which understands that the norm is to be hidden in the shadows, to be cloaked in camouflage and disguised behind a grab-bag of roles. Strangely, the more we hide our essence as a human, the more we are trusted, the more we suffer. We find ourselves aching for something that has been lost somewhere along the way. Yet, we too often cling to the camouflage as though a child holding some sort of security blanket.
When we dare look within ourselves, beneath the layer of clothing and persona, we find a hero or heroine, a primal being that if given a voice and presence, teaches us that we are whole and healthy if only we dare to be whole and healthy.
“Those who do not consider the implications of the divided human soul remain unconscious and are therefore dangerous to self and others. Those who do stop and look, and ask why become more and more attuned to the complexity of their own psychological processes; their lives grow more interesting to them; and they become less dangerous to themselves and others.” p. xiii
Okay, so where do I fit into these set of statements made by James Hollis? Is what I am doing by reading Hollis’ book – Why Good People Do Bad Things, analysing so much of my present life and my history; part of what he is asking each of us to do? Perhaps, I hope so.
I can’t pretend that I really know what I am doing or why I am doing it all the time. Nor, do I think that most of the human race can claim to such awareness. I know that personally, I catch myself and wonder “what in hell was that all about,” hoping that somehow I didn’t cause too much damage in the process. I can’t absolve myself if I have caused damage simply because I didn’t realise it, consciously, at the time, that I had no intention.
As for my life becoming more interesting, I would have to say that it has, at least to me. I am fascinated with the human body and its response to nature when one is not wearing clothing. I know that my nudity doesn’t harm my body as long as I keep alert for environmental conditions which require that I cover up in order to protect my body. Does my nudity cause real harm to others – physical harm, psychological harm? I don’t think so.
If anything, others harm themselves psychologically in their irrational response to seeing a human body in its natural condition. However, the modern world I live in is working hard to having simple human nudity be legislated as something decidedly evil. Is the collective right? Not even a little bit; however, the collective has power on its side and has little patience with being questioned on its irrational responses to nudity.
I have to admit that psychologically, I am far from being aware of all the nooks and crannies that exist within me. I have learned that I, and by “I” I mean my ego, am not consciously in charge of all that I say and do. Study and analysis has taught me about complexes and archetypes, including a personal shadow.
I know that I need to be wary of my own self so that I don’t project too easily my own shit onto others. That is part of the key, monitoring my anger, my frustration, my moments of hatred, and signals that I am holding too hard onto some belief or idea. Perhaps this is a good start to being attuned to the complexity of my own psychological processes.
Life sometimes gives us more that we seem to be able to handle. When that happens, we typically retreat into quietness and depression It’s that old “fight or flight” response that is hard-wired into our bodies, not something that we consciously think about. Yet, there are times when we have time to think when faced with something that is stressing us out. When we have the space and time and place to make conscious decisions about how we will respond, we have to consider that this space/time/place is a gift.
I am a naturist or nudist or whatever, that much I know, as do a good number of people in my life including my spouse and our children. It isn’t exactly that I have chosen to be a naturist; it is more like I have opened up enough to the fact of the inner naked person that has lurked inside my head and body. My ego had long denied this inner nude self for many years, too many years.
But, rather than wallow in regret, I am simply relieved to have finally been able to emerge – come out of the closet?– into life as a more authentic me. I began to think that others were in the same place, that perhaps even most people would be unconsciously hiding their naked self behind a wide variety of belief systems, and that if given the opportunity of experiencing the liberation from being clothed all the time, that they would naturally shed their clothing at the appropriate times and places that would present themselves.
However, this really isn’t our present reality. Some people get to experience that liberation and still find themselves stressed. Even after several deliberate attempts, they remain uncomfortable when unclothed. Their inner self is as clothed as their outer self. It just is what it is. Something we have to accept.
We don’t need to waste time trying to convert and change others. The last thing the world needs are another two sets of missionaries: missionaries preaching the ethic of being clothed, and missionaries preaching the ethic of being clothes-free with promises of heaven for all who convert to either way of thinking and believing. What we need to do is focus on being as authentically ourselves as is humanly possible.
So what about the situation where both sides are committed to being together in a relationship. The person needing boundaries that are marked by clothing finds him or herself stressed when the other is naked in what is perceived as their personal space. That invasion of personal space within which a person thrives best creates all sorts of anxiety and stress.
Unconsciously, there is then a need to do something to protect that personal space – fight or flight. Strangely, the person who is comfortable, even thriving with being clothing-free has no sense of the personal space of their significant other being challenged their nudity. That is, unless there is a phobia about wearing clothing, a different issue entirely. So how does this problem get solved?
Does one create nude zones for the partner who finds a need for being clothes free? Such nude zones are only limiting one person in the relationship, the nudist. The give and take could include the creation of a time for nudity as well, a time when the non-nudist feels the least uncomfortable with their partner’s nudity. What emerges through these negotiations is a compromise in which the non-nudist accepts that he or she can’t deny the right of the nudist to clothing-free time; and the nudist accepts the fact that the non-nudist has acknowledged a right to nudity. So far so good. The relationship has made room for differences. Both feel a sense of accomplishment.
But time does strange things to a relationship. The nudist begins to feel more and more comfortable with nudity in the relationship to the point where the boundaries that were set begin to be compromised. The non-nudist becomes uncomfortable with what has been allowed and needs relief from their discomfort. Occasions of nudity begin to creep outside of designated times and places, or occasions of nudity become constrained.. There is an ache to have more time and space where the spirit, mind and body are able to be fully nourished for both.
Tolerance to the other, lessens. The differences become even more highlighted in the process. Yet, neither wants to have the relationship end, so there is a retreat back to the original position, or perhaps a renegotiation that allows the nudist a bit more time and space. This dynamic continues to reappear until either one or both are tired of the constant tension.
What then? Since it is hard for a couple to arrive at a perfect balance, it is perhaps even harder for a community, a society. What are your thoughts and experiences with this tension between naturist and textile in relationships?
It has been slightly depressing out as far as weather is concerned and I have a cold adding a level of misery to the situation. Of course, this means that my approach to the world is tinged with a sense of greyness rather than the clear light of sunshine. As a result, this post reflects my mood – and in a way, that is honest as it can get. It doesn’t matter that the sun came out this morning. I tried focusing on a garden chore, tilling the soil so it is ready for planting in the spring.
So many images of men, posted by men, featured the penis. In today’s photo, I didn’t crop it and it is possible you might see my shrivelled member. It was quite cool out which had me wear a warm shirt. For many, the male identity has been reduced to the penis. The images which elicited this response showed male penises standing up proud, more often than not, but with the faces of their owners, for that is what the men have become, owners of a separate thing of power. Clear sight has been compromised. By empowering the penis, men have become blind to what they do as they follow the will of instinct, blind to what they do others and themselves in service to primal instinct.
This morning, as I turned to Twitter and Facebook in order to see what my on-line community was up to, I met with a few images that at first made me mad, then changed to sadness. I am not offended by the sight of a penis. However, I am saddened at how men have lost their sense of self as they use their penises as their avatars, use them to tell the world that they are real men while hiding their faces as though ashamed of being discovered. For, if discovered, the world would then learn their lie – that they are victims.
All men have a penis. Real men have consciousness and awareness of their responsibility to the world. Real men are compassionate, thoughtful, insightful beings who make the world a healthier, safer, and better world. Real men aren’t servants to the penis, the symbol of power of body over mind and heart.I have heard too many defend the images of penises without the critical identifier of the faces of the men who now belong to these penises.
What was troubling at first was the defence that these were natural images of a man, rather than a psychological statement of importance of how some men, perhaps too many men, have unconsciously stopped looking at the whole picture of themselves and the world. By following their dicks, men become blind to what is happening to the world around them.
It is hard for me to understand which came first, the tendency towards depression, or the trauma that was visited upon me during my childhood, boyhood and youth. I guess it doesn’t really matter. But at times I wonder. Did I have a genetic inheritance of depression? Was that predisposition to depression a factor in marking me as a candidate for abuse by others? Or, were the realities of being abused the root source of depression? I am lucky; I survived where many others didn’t. including one of my brothers who couldn’t handle the shame and the pain,.
Nudity is one of the reasons that has allowed me to navigate through depression and emerge back into the light. I consciously made the choice to make time for myself while clothes-free time. I learned this strategy at an early age, in my teenage years. It wasn’t a reasoned or conscious choice. Rather, it was more about rebelling against and finding sanctuary in my body, in nature.
Over the years, I have met many who have turned to nudity as a “feel good” place whether it is in a tiny apartment, withing a locked bedroom, or in a quiet place in some secluded nature setting. Nudity has this surprising side effect of being a light in the darkness. In a state of depression, there is a heavy darkness that steals one’s energy. It seems there is little one can do to escape the gloomy situation. Yet, within very little time, being nude somehow creates a condition where the repetitive scripts that haunt one’s head is short-circuited. The body begins to feel awakening awareness that one is more than one’s thoughts.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is yet another face of depression that steals life from those who suffer the disorder. Nudity has become one method of therapy that works:
“Several Vietnam veterans living in Tampa Bay, Florida say that being nude relieves feelings of anxiety, stress, and fear more than any other treatment they had received before.” Marie Meador
For most people, depression is not a very serious problem. This isn’t to say that one doesn’t experience depression, but the depression doesn’t interfere too much in one’s life. Among many I have met who have no issues with depression, nudity still ends up creating a better sense of wellness, even a sense of joy. When one feels the spread of wellness within, one wonders why the world has such a hard time with nudity. But that, is a different story completely.
I know that it has been said so many times that it almost seems redundant to say it once more, but it has to be said. We are born naked – all of us – without exception. It doesn’t matter what religion or what philosophy or what ideology one has; we were conceived the same way – a naked penis inserted into a naked vagina in order for naked sperm to join naked ova (yes, I know that science has allowed a few other options) and create new life.
Love doesn’t have to have anything to do with it, but it is better for most humans when it is done in during a moment of shared love. A number of months later, a new human slips through the birth canal of a woman to emerge, still connected with the mother via an umbilical cord. This new human emerges through the vagina which is again naked, that must be naked if the baby is to actually emerge into the world. This new human is naked.
Now, if we listen very closely to what our society, we learn that this natural, naked body that we are all born with, is somehow something to be ashamed of, something to be hidden for it is gross, leads us to think and do all sorts of perverted things. We almost become sure that it is even evil. For example, what about the idea of praying to whatever version of the creator, deity, God that you believe in – would you pray naked? What about your visions of heaven, or whatever form of afterlife there may be according to your faith – is heaven clothing optional, clothing obligatory, or nude only?
Try to remember that the Creator went to a lot of trouble to create the earth, the heavens, all the animal and plant life and humans. And, with all of them, the creator didn’t plan on clothing factories. The first humans were nude and the creator stated that it was good. This is the same creator that somehow knows everything, or so we claim. We know we can’t really hide from the Creator – not behind doors, behind trees, behind others, or behind clothing.
The Creator sees all, knows all. And most importantly, the Creator doesn’t make mistakes. The words of this Creator are treated as gospel. Humans are fallible, but the Creator is infallible. For those that believe in any religion that has a deity, this is just the way it is. I come from a Christian background and in Christianity, that is the way it is as well.
God created Adam and Eve, naked. It’s in the Bible. When he was done creating the first man and woman, naked, he said it was good. He didn’t tell them that they had to cover up or he would condemn them to hell. Nope, it was all good. A little further along in the story of the Bible, Adam and Eve try to hide from God, not a smart move as God knows all, sees all, sees right through their hiding and their covering up.
And that wasn’t so good for Adam and Eve. They covered up their naked bodies and felt ashamed of their nakedness. Can you imagine the audacity to question God’s take on nakedness? He created two beautiful humans, nude; and these two fallible humans were ashamed of that creation. So begins a sad story of man’s fall from grace.
Today we have absolutely no problem believing that this perfect creation was a botched job, that God messed up big time. And, we have absolutely no issues with fixing that initial problem any way that we can – jail time, shunning, stoning, murder, shaming, slandering and the ultimate threat – God will send you to hell.
Yep. Our good churches and church leaders have had a long conversation with God and got Him to see the error of his ways and straighten out His act. We’ve even convinced God to set up some robe factories so that all the angels, saints, and God Himself have their offending bodies covered.
Listen in – I’ve gone through the trouble of transcribing the conversation that took place between a gathering of Church leaders in Constantinople about 1800 years ago.
Church leaders: Why did you have to make people naked? It’s just not right!
God: I didn’t see a need to cover their nakedness. As I said in the good book. I saw what I had done and said it was good.
Church leaders: Well, in case you haven’t noticed, it hasn’t been good. Have you seen the stats lately? Fornication, rape, murder, mayhem, adultery – you name it, it’s all there.
God: Umm, what’s that got to do with me inventing humans naked?
Church leaders: Everything! Naked people have no shame, no morals.
God: I can’t say as I exactly see it your way.
Church leaders: Yeah, we know. You still haven’t admitted that your mistake with Adam and Eve being naked was the reason for them breaking your rules. Can’t admit that you screwed up there – yet. Well, we have hope that you’ll come around and make it better.
God: How do I make it better in you viewpoint?
Church leaders: Well first, no more of this naked nonsense. It’s got to stop. We thought that from now on, you wear a big robe and a beard so that only a few parts of your face and your hands are all the skin that shows. What d’ya say. Can you do it?
God: In case you didn’t notice, I have a perfect body.
Church leaders: Good lord already. We can’t have you running around with your dick flopping around. First thing you know, everyone would be running around displaying their junk.
God: Junk?
Church leaders: You know, penises. Now as we were saying. This has got to stop. Cover up the angels, the cherubim, the saints. Clean up your act and let us edit your words so that it stays that way.
God: Edit my words? What do you mean? You want to re-write the book? Wouldn’t that be like, lying?
Church leaders: Think of it as problem solving. We could have you add in another commandment. Thou shalt not be naked. We’ll take it from there as your representatives down here on earth.
God: Are you out of your minds? Ten commandments, not eleven. You can’t just mess with the truth, guys.
Church leaders: Yeah, we hear you. We took a vote earlier just in case this was a sticky point. How about we toss out the “coveting of neighbour’s goods?” It will be easier to fill the church coffers and we force people to keep their damned clothes on.
God: Count me out on all of this. I still like my work so far. As for wearing robes, I don’t think so. Heaven has perfect climate if you want to know. Everyone up here is naked, just like the Garden of Eden. No crime to speak of either. In case you guys haven’t yet figured it out, sin is a state of mind, nothing to do with a lack of clothing.
Church leaders: Yeah, we thought you’d say something like this. As a precaution, we’ve hired the best advertising agent money can buy to sell our message.
God: You can’t be serious? You actually have signed a contract with the devil?
Church leaders: We sure as hell couldn’t count on you, could we? We’ll clean up your mess. All we ask is that you keep your mouth shut and keep your nose out of our business.
God: Nothing good is going to come out of this. I feel sorry for humans with this lot in charge. Life on earth will become like living in hell.
As a naturist, I get to meet others who are comfortable in their own skin. Some I meet in the face-to-face world, and some I meet in the world of social media. Regardless of where we may have met, the people are real. They have families, they have jobs, they have friends, and they do their best like everyone else to have meaningful lives.
No matter how you look at them, they simply come out looking like normal people, because that is exactly what they are – normal. For those who are not naturists or nudists, this is hard to understand. How I can say they are normal when they are so obviously naked in a world that is obsessed with covering up their bodies?
We’re all born naked. We aren’t our clothing and shouldn’t be defined by what we wear or don’t wear.
Clothing is a cover-up – a hiding when conditions in our environment don’t demand clothing. Clothing is supposed to be functional. However, we use clothing to strut our stuff, or to give ourselves authority, or simply to hide in anonymity. Yet, as soon as one removes the clothing, the situation changes immediately – authority is gone with the exception of any real authority that comes simply from being older and perhaps wiser; lust is diminished as nude human bodies become the norm – we are all familiar with the use of provocative clothing, the skimpier the better, to entice and exploit.
Clothing is essentially a poor means of hiding from ourselves. Removing our clothing forces us to finally deal with the truth of who we are. Everyone has baggage, has skeletons in their closets. Everyone has been wounded in life and has scars – some visible but most invisible because they are scars to the heart and soul – the psyche. The challenge with being without clothing is to take the next step and expose the scars and do the work that would heal those scars.
How does one recognize these scars after so many years of cover-up and denial? Look for heat. Track your emotions to find what was present or happening when fear made an appearance. What was happening or present in the environment when anger or joy entered? What sounds? What smells? – All of these are triggers that date back to the woundings of the psyche. Track these over time and patterns will emerge that paint a fairly clear picture.
So then what? Well, one begins by realising that the wounds are old, that they are not the present circumstances. Then, one has to accept that the wounding did happen and that it can’t be undone by drugs, exercise, therapy or salvation in some church. The wounding happened – end of story. Now, one has to begin the process of lessening the unconscious power of the wounding over our present life.
This is where therapy of some sort comes in. We gave to take ownership of ourselves rather than leave ownership in the hands of someone who has wounded us, someone who may even be presently deceased. If the soul is to be truly healed, we can’t give our power away to someone else – a spouse, a therapist, a guru, or some authority out there – somewhere – who will save us from ourselves and take away our sins and pain.
No, the buck stops with us. We can’t hide from ourselves and our own authority and responsibility over ourselves. Strip off the clothes and expose the scars – be vulnerable. And then, risk it all to change, to heal. Then through the eyes of others, and our own mirrors, we become true works of art.
To know others who are looking beyond, beneath and within for meaning as humans has given me greater courage to be myself, to dare being fully myself. Others such as Paul Z. Walker and Will Forest, two men who are both authors and naturists, lessens the sense of aloneness and alienation.
A long time ago I wrote about how Sydney Jourard’s book, The Transparent Self, had been a part of the influence that helped explain my personal shift to consciously becoming naked and vulnerable in the external world. I have also frequently referred to Jungian psychology as “peeling away layers” to reveal an authentic self. And, I have frequently spoken about how meditation au naturel has served to connect me with a larger sense of the universe, a spiritual dimension that cannot tolerate disguises, masks or false images.
In our religions we are taught that humans were made in the image of their Creator, perfect creations, created naked and vulnerable and beautiful. Somewhere along the way we have lost that innocence and learned to believe that the Creator made a mistake in creating us naked. We have learned to that to be naked is to be sinful, even evil. Our holiest garb has us so covered in cloth that our bodies have disappeared within the coverings so that we become sexless beings.
Learning that I am constantly changing with each breath, each moment and interaction with the world, teaches me to be more gentle with myself and the world, as well as it teaches me to cling less to old habits, beliefs and false security. I was surprised earlier today to find these words that led me just a bit further along my journey to being an authentic and transparent being.
“We are given changes all the time. We can either cling to security, or we can let ourselves feel exposed, as if we had just been born, as if we had just popped out into the brightness of life and were completely naked.
Maybe that sounds too uncomfortable or frightening, but on the other hand, it’s our chance to realize that this mundane world is all there is, and we could see it with new eyes and at long last wake up from our ancient sleep of preconceptions.”
Waking up, stripped of protective clothing and facing the world totally vulnerable and honestly is frightening in many ways, particularly in this modern world which is hell-bent on punishing those who dare to be authentic in any form. But as Pema Chodron points out, it’s our chance. I grew tired of darkness, of fear and of hiding. Now I dare say, This is who I am!
