Through a Naturist Lens

The feminine brings life out of darkness. Life is conceived deep within the goddess Gaia. But is isn’t just her power to give birth. She has the power to draw in the masculine who plants the seeds that will gestate and then flourish when finally emerging from the darkness into the light.

A man is drawn in like a moth drawn to a solitary light in the darkness. The goddess swallows the essence of a man, not the man himself. But, it isn’t all mythology. In this mortal world, an ordinary man and an ordinary woman become god and goddess for a moment to perform the same miracle. What draws the ordinary mand and woman together is an unconscious fascination with the other. At least, that is the hope. There are too many assaults on mortal women by men and women who are too damaged to see the goddess within every woman.

There is a fine line between active imagination and acting out unconscious desires. Assaults on others are all about the acting out. The ego gets confused and contaminated with the shadowy world of the unconscious. With active imagination, there is safety for both self and other as the unconscious gets expressed as art, whether that art be in photographs such as Lanie’s above, paintings such as those from the Renaissance, sculptures such as those by Rodin, dance and theatre, or in poems and stories.

Active imagination can bring out the best about who we are as individuals and as a society. I use the word “can” as it isn’t always the case. The darkness of who we are deep within ourselves, or as a culture is also expressed via active imagination. However, since the expression of our personal and collective shadow is contained within various art forms, they are contained safely.

We need to see the truth of who we are deep within, both the shadow self and the light self – self as a god or goddess – self as a demon.

Years and years ago, I had a blog site called Naturist Lens. Since then, I have switched platforms several times which resulted in losing subscribers to my posts. I have been using WordPress.com for them. However, because of the inability to use “plugins” without paying an exorbitant amount of money, I have gathered all my posts via export files, and brought them back to my home site which uses WordPress.org.

Since I already pay for this home site for other blog sites and a general web presence, and I had access to many, many free plugins and paid plugins, it only made sense. For the next while, I will be tidying up this site’s archived posts, replacing photos where needed.

Because my name is front and centre in the URL, there is a risk factor. Using this URL is basically the same thing as taking down a privacy fence around one’s home. Since I am officially old, I don’t really care all that much anymore. After all, my family and friends already know about my preference when it comes to clothing.

With that said, a bit of trivia is now in order. It is -9 Celsius outside with a feel-like temperature of -17. A gentle snowfall is in progress though it isn’t adding up to very much so far. We are hoping for a huge dump of snow as the ground is dry and powdery because of last year’s drought conditions. I weighed in at 167 lbs which tells me I have been stable for two years at this weight.

Trivia aside, life goes on here on the Canadian prairies.

Okay, so today’s topic takes me back to a conversation I once had with a writer friend who has written more than 50 books, many of them being naturist fiction. While my wife and I sat with him somewhere in the Netherlands, we talked about the world accepting people being nude in general public settings. There was one conclusion that we all agreed upon – it wasn’t going to happen. He is a naturist, as are many, many other people I know who are pragmatic people. We can look at the world without tinted glasses and have little problem decoding the near global worldview that nudity is tolerated, if even that, in very limited places.

Now, people who embrace nudity aren’t exactly a homogenous group. Every political, economic, social, or religious group will find members who self-identify as nudists or naturists. And then there are others who make no such distinction and simply take moments in their lives to enjoy being clothing free. Yet somehow, there is an unreasoned expectation that the group should abide by some sort of belief and behaviour code. Zealots are loud in their attempt to herd the larger group into some sort of homogenous group where the enemy are people who embrace clothing and being clothed. The above image is quite clear that it is an “us versus them” dynamic. Well, that is an approach that will ensure that the freedom to be nude in the general public will never happen. Besides, in my opinion, it is more harmful than helpful.

My wife is one of those people who prefers to keep her clothing on. She actually likes her clothes and enjoys exploring new fashions, colours, and textures. I love my wife and don’t see what I would have to gain by “joining the fight against textilism.” She is comfortable with me slipping out of my clothing when time, place, and conditions allow [which is the majority of the time]. At times, she slips out of her clothing to join me in social situations where it is safe for her to do so. She is comfortable with her body. I have no desire to “control” her or abandon her for not mirroring the way I want to live.

As someone with a long history of providing mental health services, I have learned that those who try to control others, do so out of their own issues of self-identity. Anyone who is different is viewed with a lens coated with fear which morphs into anger. Those kind of people need people to provide affirmation. Those who disagree become enemies.

Most people don’t care one way or the other. They want to live their own lives, people such as my neighbours. They have seen me without clothing, usually when I am in my yard. They don’t make a big deal of it, nor do I go out of my way to have them notice me. When they come over for a meal or we go to their place, I wear clothing. For me, it is about respect. They are good people who don’t need or want to be nude or be overwhelmed with always seeing me nude. When we are together and I am wearing clothing, it is easier for them in terms of being comfortable to talk, to laugh, to share a meal, or an evening for wine and hors d’oeuvres. Both of us come out of this as winners. They know who I am and accept me for who I am and continue to be good neighbours and friends.

This might be the best scenario in a world that only sees things in black and white, as dualities. Nude or clothed with no in between. The only solution to this polarisation would be for a near-extinction event which wiped out most of humanity thus allowing for a reset. But even then, human nature will reassert itself and we will find ourselves as polarised as ever. My advice, try just being you. Forget about being a clone of someone else.

I started a version of this blog site today. For whatever reason, there has been no posts nor access to the previous blog site. Thankfully that problem got regulated with old post recovered.

As I mentioned in my first post, I live in a northern, temperate climate. Since it is April, early April, there is no guarantee that there won’t be snow. We had snow last night and there is more such moisture happening for the rest of today. I don’t mind snow, at least in the right seasons. This morning, despite the snow, feels rather nice. Because the world had warmed up in my corner of the universe, it wasn’t so cold on my feet to check out the world contained in my backyard.

I left my footprints behind me as I wandered onto the back deck, just as I have left footprints on beaches by the water’s edge. And just like those footprints in the sand, my snow-edged footprints will disappear as though they were never there. I think my life is like that to an extent. In time, my presence will fade from memories, perhaps even from myself. What remains when presence has faded? In fifty years from now, I will be nothing but a foggy memory for a select few. A few photographs such as this one taken this morning, will tell only some of the story. The story seen in this image is non-sexual in content and intent. So what story will emerge in the years to come with images such as this one.

I use photographs for a variety of reasons. Currently I am creating a book for my youngest grandchild who will turn three years old later this spring. The book is a picture book that tells the story of his first three years of life, pictures that show the people in his life interacting with him. As he grows older, memories of his first three years of life will fade and perhaps disappear. That’s normal. It is rare for anyone to remember the first four years of life. This book will preserve those initial memories. Perhaps, the photos in this book will allow him to remember more of his early childhood.

As I said, I use photographs. I literally have tens of thousands of photographs going back decades. Most of these photos are of people, places, and events. A small number of them show nudity. Over the past ten years, the majority of these nude images are of myself. Other than rare sharing of selected images with select others, no one sees these images other than me. I keep a journal, a private journal where I place one or two such images as illustration of the day’s events. Now, I wonder about these images. What if they became public and everyone who knows me were to see them?

That’s a daunting thought. I mean there are my children and grandchildren to consider. There are siblings, cousins and other extended family members to think about as well. There are neighbours and community members with whom I interact with on a regular basis. What about those whom I don’t know but who could have an impact on my life should they see those images? I mean, should I destroy them and hope none that have been shared fall into the dustbin of time? What do I have to gain? What do I have to lose?

Many of the others whom I know through Twitter, believe that the photos, theirs and mine, will change the world to become more tolerant, more accepting of the unclothed body. They speak of #NormalisingNudity and #NormalisingNaturism [I use the Canadian version of these hashtags – it isn’t a spelling mistake]. To be honest, I just don’t see that happening in my lifetime. What I do see is that the world is drifting to a less liberal worldview, a more fundamentalist worldview where differences will be less tolerated. It’s just my opinion, and I don’t pretend to be an authority.

So, why do I even bother with images where I or others are dressed only with air, skyclad? Honestly, I am just being me. I won’t be changing the world, my community, or my family. I don’t want to control others. I also don’t want others to control me.

The next post on the soul of sex is on hold for awhile. I have to admit that my focus has been elsewhere. I am in the process of writing/rewriting a story which originally was to be a Jungian novel with a Jungian psychotherapist as the protagonist. Now, the story has morphed to have the protagonist a university professor.

Likely known to many of you, I have had more years of teaching than I have had as a psychotherapist. Of course, the psychological element will continue to be present, however the story will be more reader friendly as the people become more typical of the average person who will get to read the story. The characters are younger as well.

The biggest change is that naturism is more evident, naturism as typically is experienced by today’s younger adults. Naturist resorts are not a part of the story, however social nudity is an integral part of the story. And of course, as with almost every story that has ever been written, there is love to be found.

Oops, I guess I haven’t really abandoned the soul in sex theme after all. Soul enters into all relationships. It doesn’t matter if it the male/female, female/female, male/male, or involving those who find themselves in transition from one gender to another. Relationships demand soul. And this becomes the heart of the new story.

Now, I need to get back to the story which now sits at just over seventeen thousand words.

I just returned from a sojourn at my son’s home where I got to play extensively with my three grandchildren in the house. My son and his wife also got some of my attention – but not near as much as their children. With my return home, a few chores were waiting for my attention such as shovelling off the driveway before moving on the clear the pathways in the backyard, including a new path to my old propane barbeque which will get a workout late this afternoon. There are more chores yet to do today and a longish hike to take since the weather is mostly cooperative, excepting wind.

Anything I do within the house is always done clothing free. When outside, I wear clothing because it is winter, so that means the hike will be done while wearing clothing. With my wife, it is a different story. She loves her clothing. We are different people and we accept that difference …. for the most part.

Naturally, there is no such thing as 100% compatibility between two people who are in a relationship. Even if we were both naturists or both textiles, there are many, many more factors that prevent one hundred percent accord. The primary difference that causes the most separation is the mind.

Both parties of a relationship come with a history. Differing environments while growing up, and each household even within the same dominant culture, leads to different responses to various physiological and psychological stimuli. What is more important are the hidden from self and other aspects, one’s unconscious contents.

Despite that separate history, two parties in a relationship can decide to go with that which they are aware, those points of contact which result in mutually satisfactory feelings. For example, we both love walking, winter and summer, especially walking together.

Of course, as in our situation, there are more things we share than which keeps us apart. And even then, we have learned to do different things while still sharing space and time. Another example, I write while nude and she does her thing while clothed. We can see and hear each other while we are separately engaged. There is no attempt to try and control the other. And there lays one of the key deal breakers in a relationship – the issue of control.

I want to start off today’s post with a statement: I don’t equate masculinity or femininity to men and women respectively. They are principles of orientation and self-understanding. Gender is gender and not one’s psychology. Biology is a different story. The genetic code is fairly clear on one’s biology. One either has a y chromosome or one doesn’t. No amount of self-identification can change that fact, even if one has undergone a surgical procedure to change the visible evidence of one’s biological gender.

The mind is a different story. I am a man and I identify as such. That said, I am far from an alpha male. I am soft and caring and don’t take charge and don’t do well in leadership roles. As a man, I am often found wanting. I am told I “should be” more like a man and less effeminate. Yet, the evidence of my physical body says otherwise.

The problem in our modern world is that we want to control others where and when we can’t easily control ourselves. That problem given our current economic situation where one can survive outside of a relationship has resulted in an inordinate increase in divorce and separation.

“In our society, sex is wounded by a deep-seated masochism, which finds distorted satisfaction in the suppression of desire. This masochism is a symptomatic and destructive form of surrender. Instead of giving in to our passions, allowing emotion to course through our bodies and psyches, and generously offering ourselves to intimacy, we surrender our joy in life to any authority we can find and we find many authorities willing to condemn us for our longings and pleasures.”Thomas Moore, The Soul of Sex, pp 16-17

And as Jung once said, what is suppressed consciously will find a way to escape. We suppress our sexuality and it re-emerges, usually in a manner that is unhealthy. We see the evidence in our modern world. Nudist gatherings and venues are vested in controlling sexuality, promoting the idea that nudity and the nude body are just nude and have nothing to do with sexuality and sex.

Churches have long done the same doing their best to have sex become only a source of procreation rather than an act of joy. Sex is equated with sin, and sin leaves everyone feeling guilty for having repressed desires. We are in a mess and our soul suffers. Getting out of that mess takes a lot of work, a return to being the original self as a woman or as a man.

It has been a while since my last post here. Why? No real reason comes to mind other than my urge to write has been quite low. It has nothing to do with depression or whatever. The writing muse has decided to take a winter vacation. On this side of the screen, life has been filled with family, shovelling snow, a bit of time with neighbours, going for country walks and reading. I have done more reading in the past two months than I have for the first ten months of 2021. Ten days ago, I got my third vaccination shot for Covid 19. And yes, I still wear a mask when in public spaces as it is required here in my province.

Covid has been the primary topic of conversation since it continues to impact on our “normal” lives as travellers. Typically, I would be preparing for a three-month absence from our home to someplace warm where I could walk more wearing a lot less. I doubt that our travels will begin anytime soon as our borders are becoming more and more difficult to cross. The most that I am hoping for in terms of travel, is being able to attend a grandson’s graduation in the U.S.A. I missed his older brother’s graduation because of Covid19 in 2020.

The world, at least my world, is not all about Covid. I had three books published in the past year and all three have had decent sales with no advertising effort on my part. I have other books in various stages of progress though most are on hold as I mentioned at the beginning of this post. I imagine that this will change once the world of a prairie winter settles in after the New Year.

I can feel it in my bones that I am getting older. I make that statement based on my ability to relax more easily. I also make that statement based on my physical body’s signals that I am not as young as I once was. Perhaps I am approaching the calm attitude of an elder. Though I continue to walk, usually a six-kilometre walk in the countryside each day, I don’t feel as “fit.” My body is softer for the most part. And strangely, it is all okay.

Today, Christmas Day, it is -23 Celsius at 2:00 pm. The sun is out and the wind has diminished to a breeze which means that once this post is published, I will head out into the countryside for another walk with my wife. Once back home, we will work together to make our evening meal, have some wine, and enjoy being alone together. As for clothing, yes I will be wearing clothing as it is too cold to hike on the winter prairies at these temperatures wearing nothing but the skin I was born with – well, not exactly the same skin, you know, cells replace themselves periodically.

Merry Christmas!

I have just read a book by Marilyn Foxworthy and it was a challenge. The author claims to be a woman and I have to accept her claim. The book is erotic and blatantly sexual in content. I don’t read erotica, at least until this instance. There is already too much sexual activity in too many books for my liking. However, that said, it is obvious that this isn’t the attitude for many, many people who buy erotica, or even steamy romance novels. So, why did I read this story?

I was intrigued to see how the author would deal with the issue of nudity, in what could be a pre-historic setting. The book soon told me that it was set in modern times, yet at the same time, it was as though it was trapped in some distant past, Neanderthal times. And the story was erotic, while making it appear that when the mind, the ego was set aside, there were no sexual boundaries, other than those that grew out of fear. And that set me to thinking. This post isn’t a book review. It just takes a book as a catalyst for wondering.

I am a man. I am a sexual being. I love having sex with my partner. And I have had only this one partner. I haven’t lost desire or wonder when it comes to engaging in sex that is wrapped in mutual feelings that I can only describe as love. Strangely, these feelings aren’t limited to when we are nude. I feel the pull to her even when she is clothed. Being nude doesn’t automatically mean sexual activity either. I find it empowering when we can relax beside each other while both of us are fully vulnerable. Yet, I am still a man and I would be lying if I didn’t admit to desire creeping in.

As a modern man, I truly don’t know much about “natural” human sexuality, nor about my own sexuality. I see other women who are nude at times and feel no desire emerge. This is a common occurrence at most naturist resorts and campgrounds from what I have experienced. Those women and assorted men who are nude, are simply nude. I see many images on social media of both men and women who are nude. Again, there is no visceral response. Yet on occasion, there is a response. And that is confusing. Is this simply a guy thing? Or, do women have the same types of responses?

Listening in on social media, it would appear that for the most part, naturists have little to no sex drive. If that is the reality, then I would not qualify to be a naturist. I have a sex drive that is easily kindled by my spouse. All it takes is a certain smile, and I am undone even if we are both wearing clothing. And then there is the impact of the visual dimension. To accentuate all of this sexuality and sex drive, is the element of touch.

I think that modern men and women are suffering greatly. We are in such a hurry to distance ourselves from the perceived “dirty” world of sex, that we hide from each other in layers of clothing, layers of language, and multitude layers of denial. We embarrass ourselves, even when alone, by those sexual desires that push from below our contained sense of self. We don’t want others to know that we are uncivilised beings. And in the process, we forget and deny our “natural” human nature.

We don’t want to talk about it lest others think we are perverts. Though curious, we would never ask another, even one’s mate, to talk about sexual matters. Of course, even if we did find the courage to speak openly, there are so many layers of unconscious protections based on millenia of suppression, that the conversation dies a quick death leaving both sides wounded and perhaps angry and frustrated. Humans have long ago stopped being honest with themselves, and as a result, they are unable to be fully honest with a mate.

So, where to next? Do we risk the dialogue? Perhaps in a safe space such as this? Or, do we silently nod and pass by leaving it all unspoken? There are no judgments being made.

Life is complicated. There are so many unknowns that influence a person’s life, almost too many at times. At first is all seems so simple. Then, we get older. The older a person gets, the more complex even the simplest of things become.

Take love for example. A person falls in love and that love is often mirrored by that other person with whom one has fall in love. It’s simple. “I’m in love!” No other explanation is needed. One dives deep into that love. And as I have written about before, the conscious mind [ego] doesn’t have a say in whether one is in love or not. Then, time passes and the mind has to deal with the result.

Usually, well perhaps not as the divorce and separation stats appear to soar, as the two parties become consciously self and other aware, there is a change in the nature of love and in the relationship between each other. And, things do change, and not always for the better. Both parties find themselves in a new world when they see the person they had chosen as a life partner become strangers. Have they become strangers? Each person as the veil of love is lifted become more and more themselves. What that looks like to the other person is that he or she is now a stranger.

Because of a shared history, there are choices to be made for the survival of the relationship. Sometimes the choice is easy, when there is a gross level of disrespect, a level of danger [either physical or mental], a high level of comfort and trust built over the years, etc. For the rest, it is a matter of time and rekindling those things that had initially bonded the two. However, for perhaps too many, it becomes an economic choice or one based on the fear of being alone. There are no right or wrong answers to be given as each relationship has their own, unique combination of factors.