Body positivity – learning to not only accept the truth of one’s body, but to let go of judgments about the bodies of others. In the world of naturism, it is accepted as a near truth that those who engage in social nudity have a high level of body positivity. I have to admit that I question that commonly held belief. In a way, being nude is curiously like wearing a costume or a mask. Because of the company we keep when in a social nudity situation, it allows us to feel at one with the tribe. Yet, once we are left on our own, we see our bodies differently, and not usually with a kind lens.
In social nudity situations, it becomes easier to not focus on bodies, ours or others. We tend to look at each other face-to-face. Our bodies are present but typically they are conscientiously not glanced at. And that, sets us at ease. If the others are looking at us generically then we feel our flaws are not remarked upon. Add to that reality, naturists go out of their way to make sure no body comments are made. In front of the mirror when we are alone, we examine ourselves as though through a microscope. Extraneous hairs are plucked, blackheads are squeezed, guts are sucked in, and still we find that our bodies don’t quite live up to our expectation.
Okay, so maybe I am talking about myself and not others. In general terms, I am okay with my body up to a point. I am more than slightly dissatisfied with my body’s betrayal – left knee and right hip pain – a fact of my getting to be older. I’m not gaining extra weight, but things are shifting around and muscle mass is more of a memory than a fact. I am particularly not happy with the fact of two aspects of my body. My belly button has decided to protrude when I am at rest. Even if I lose the extra few pounds [and I do every winter in warm climates] the belly button refuses to retreat. The second disappointment is one that is more long-standing, my testicles. With age, the sack has dropped, but not the testicles themselves. I end up with a dangling flap of scrotum. But that aside, I am okay with my body … well, maybe a little bit better than okay. I take care of my body with natural exercise and proper eating habits [most of the time].
I see changes in my wife’s body and for some strange reason, it just doesn’t matter. She is still beautiful. Whenever I say that to her, she tells me to put on my glasses or get my lens prescription changed. She doesn’t see what I see. She is much wiser than I am as she is more accepting of aging. After all, she works in a nursing home and realistically knows that there is no escaping the changes that aging will inflict on the body.
Listening to other naturists, I hear comments about the niggling things which cause them dissatisfaction with their bodies. But, I hear less from them than I do from friends who are never nude. I get tired of hearing about weight, diet, derogatory comments about others who are not perfect according to some constantly shifting standard. Guys are particularly bad in judging. They create rating scales for many of the women they see, especially young women. The laugh at many wondering how “he” ever hooked up with such a gorgeous woman. Or, wonder what an average kind of guy ever saw in a woman whom they place at the bottom of any ranking scale because of appearance. Curious, on clothing optional beaches and in naturist venues, those comments don’t get said.
What about you? Are you fully satisfied with your body? Are you able to refrain from judging others because of their bodies? Share your stories.