I am at a naturist campground called Green Haven Sun Club. It was my wife’s idea that I check out the place on my way back from an allergy treatment appointment. The place is about four hours from my home.
I rented a tiny camping trailer on the grounds for three days. My wife decided that this would be my retreat centre for my continued efforts of healing. She has seen how I do better when I have time for nudity, especially for nudity and sunshine. Besides, it lessened the pressure on her if I got my fill of being nude away from home where she perpetually worried that one of our neighbours might see me nude and thus shun her as a result. I never did tell her about her best friend having seen me nude in our house a number of times, never with the slightest hint of sexuality.
This is the trailer I rented. It became my home for several days. I called it my green hermitage as it was set away from the main camp area, across a lane from a row of seven permanent house trailers. Here I could be nude indoors and outdoors without having to worry as everyone at Green Haven was there because it was a naturist campsite.
On a different topic, I have been reading Thomas Moore’s book, Dark Nights of the Soul, a quasi-psychological and spiritual look at the journey of healing. I brought this book camping with me, because I am feeling more and more that this is where I am at, trying to journey through a dark period.
My driving while nude today was, in a major way, defying convention — being naughty — in a way that gives the darkest aspects of myself an outing in safety so that I don’t get into legal trouble or relationship troubles.
Being good is relative; perhaps I was being very good in terms of the healing process. I was taking a calculated risk that someone might become aware that I was nude. There was no risk that they would have seen my nakedness, but that is a different kind of risk, a different level of defiance. Allowing the shadow to appear and then reined in, was an important task for me to take. It takes away the pressure that would build up and likely have me truly do something inappropriate involving nudity in public.