I just returned from a sojourn at my son’s home where I got to play extensively with my three grandchildren in the house. My son and his wife also got some of my attention – but not near as much as their children. With my return home, a few chores were waiting for my attention such as shovelling off the driveway before moving on the clear the pathways in the backyard, including a new path to my old propane barbeque which will get a workout late this afternoon. There are more chores yet to do today and a longish hike to take since the weather is mostly cooperative, excepting wind.
Anything I do within the house is always done clothing free. When outside, I wear clothing because it is winter, so that means the hike will be done while wearing clothing. With my wife, it is a different story. She loves her clothing. We are different people and we accept that difference …. for the most part.
Naturally, there is no such thing as 100% compatibility between two people who are in a relationship. Even if we were both naturists or both textiles, there are many, many more factors that prevent one hundred percent accord. The primary difference that causes the most separation is the mind.
Both parties of a relationship come with a history. Differing environments while growing up, and each household even within the same dominant culture, leads to different responses to various physiological and psychological stimuli. What is more important are the hidden from self and other aspects, one’s unconscious contents.
Despite that separate history, two parties in a relationship can decide to go with that which they are aware, those points of contact which result in mutually satisfactory feelings. For example, we both love walking, winter and summer, especially walking together.
Of course, as in our situation, there are more things we share than which keeps us apart. And even then, we have learned to do different things while still sharing space and time. Another example, I write while nude and she does her thing while clothed. We can see and hear each other while we are separately engaged. There is no attempt to try and control the other. And there lays one of the key deal breakers in a relationship – the issue of control.