It has been quite quiet for me the past few days. I have to admit that it had nothing to do with Easter weekend gatherings or celebrations. Like last Easter, we were home alone. Traditionally, my second child brings her family to our home for Easter or we travel to her place in the USA. Borders are still closed and we haven’t been face-to-face with them since 2019.
It has been a long time and it is responsible for some of my depression. I have been quiet because of the depression. What I have noticed that in response to my quietness, those whom I could call my social media friends have also been silent. Is one responsible for the other? I will never know unless I ask, and even then, it would be unlikely that even that more than one or two would answer the question.
Along the way, I wondered about my presence on social media. Am I really seen? I can say without any doubt that a very small number that could be counted on one hand, are real friends. The rest? Most would likely be categorised as positive-minded acquaintances. It is no different in my face-to-face world.
Aside from family, how many of us have more than one handful of real friends? How do we know that they are friends? For me, it is has to do with a thought. If a person is on my mind, a pleasant thought, without being present in f2f interaction or social-media interaction, then I consider that friendship is real.
Yes, I do think of some of you who are likely reading this post are real. Because of past interactions and the passage of time seeing the interactions and dialogue continue, friendship begins to grow. With those interactions, a level of trust begins to emerge. Small tests, conscious or unconscious, of friendship either weakens friendship or strengthens friendship. The more the dialogue continues, the more friendship is tested.
It’s like f2f life. Some people are good friends in small doses, and others are more than welcome to fill in a larger part of one’s life. Friendship, for me becomes stronger when I can note the differences and yet feel the strength of shared values tilting friendship into a more vibrant level.
And then, silence descends, be it because of life’s circumstances or depression or … . A friendship doesn’t begin to slip away in the silence. And strangely, as I continue to learn, a few voices pierce the silence, unexpected voices. These unexpected voices shift my reality. I can hear/sense that I have become visible in a positive manner. It doesn’t mean friendship, but it does contain the seeds for a possible friendship should life on both sides of that nucleus provide for nurturing that possibility. One just never knows.
Just a final note. I wonder how many of you would see me as a real friend, or somewhere along the continuum of a positive acquaintance to friendship?