If you are thinking the title is talking about divorce, you would be wrong though that is a separation that some will face or have faced at one point in their lives. I am thinking about the bigger picture, one that began with birth and ends when whatever it is that serves us as spirit and soul, leaves the body. I know, you have already deduced that I hold to the idea that we are more than just biological beings that have no meaning other than that of staying alive as long as possible because with death, there is nothing else. Soul is real, spirit is real.
We know we are going to die and lose everything we have accumulated, lose all connection to others whether they are friend or foe. We know that even the ritual of marriage reminds us of the time when the marriage relationship will end with the words, “til death do us part.” We lose grandparents, parents, siblings, extended family, friends, enemies, and too many others whom we have never met but still have an impact upon us when they die.
A few days ago, fifteen people died in a bus accident in the province in which I live. I personally didn’t know a single person on the bus taking a hockey team to a playoff game. But, I knew of the team, I used to know players on that team. I had even taught some of those players. Though I didn’t know a single soul on the bus, I felt the loss of relationship. Strange. And it wasn’t just me who felt this way. The links to the hockey team of the past had thinned over the years, but they are still there.
However worthy it is to make this post about those young men who died a few days ago, this post needs to go deeper. There is one relationship that suffers the most from separation – the relationship one has with one’s self.
“We live our lives estranged – from others, from the gods, and worst of all from ourselves. Intuitively, we all know this. We know that we are our own worst enemies, We never stop seeking to reconnect, to find home again, and in the end, we simply leave it in a different way. Perhaps there is no home to which we can return. We can’t return to the womb, though we try, and few of us are confident of a future celestial home. So we live, always homeless, whether we know it or not.” James Hollis, Return to Eden, p. 11
Over the next several post, I will be turning to this book by James Hollis, not only to provide a template for this blog site, but in order to do work that is demanding my attention. I need to build a stronger relationship with myself if I am to have any quality to my relationships with others. And in order to do that, I need to come to grips with the reality that all of my relationships, the how and why of them, finds their roots in my first relationships – mother and father. This isn’t an easy journey to take, but it is a vital task.