Others, like myself who choose to see themselves beneath their clothing, are risking so much with the acts of disrobing and being naked. Are we really being ourselves? It is as if we have set aside the filters that have been coded into our lives as we grew up into adulthood. Many are in search of self. How often do we hear grown adults state that they need time to find themselves? Typically, that search for self is a journey that only leads further and further from the intended destination of self-discovery. As well, we often find ourselves on the outs with the larger society for what we discover about ourselves.
Over the years, as I have studied and worked with human psychology, I have come to realise that most people really don’t want to do the work of self-discovery, regardless of their claims otherwise. Most people simply want to be fixed so that they fit better with the social world around them. They want to think, feel, want, and do only those things that will allow them to be more accepted, perhaps even loved. Yet, every so often, that isn’t enough. For these people in the minority, and they are a minority, the imperative “Know Thyself!” becomes a quest. That journey begins with self-disclosure. becoming transparent to the self and to others.
“Through my self-disclosure, I let others know my soul. They can know it, really know it, only as I make it known. In fact, I am beginning to suspect that I can’t even know my own soul except as I disclose it. I suspect that I will know myself “for real” at the exact moment that I have succeeded in making it known through my disclosure to another person.”
Sidney M. Jourard, The Transparent Self, p. 10
Jourard talks about self-disclosure from a psychological perspective. That psychological journey is also a social journey if it is to be authentic. At the present time, in the midst of a global pandemic which has so many of us sticking within the confines of our individual lodgings, the opportunity to let others see/know/feel the truth of our individual souls is problematic. Thankfully, there is a cyber world where we can virtually be present with others. That cyber world allows for us to be seen and heard. What we disclose in this cyber world doesn’t allow for full disclosure as the conveyance of feeling is very, very weak.
When one removes one’s clothing and risks being seen as imperfect beings, there is an honesty that words can never match for words can easy become masks behind which we hide, just as we hide behind our clothing, or the roles we live in the world. However, images are only as honest as we allow them to be. For example, How does one disclose an underlying fear or emotion or belief that we don’t want revealed? In my case, in the face-to-face world, I smile. I adopt an equanimous state that masks self-doubt. In the case of Robin Williams, a mask of laughter hid a deep sadness that eventually resulted in his self-destruction.
It is only with the passage of time, that one gets to know another well enough to risk disclosing more of oneself. And it is only with this passage of time and taking these risks that one discovers more and more about oneself. It’s a catch 22 situation which few people hesitate to enter into. Getting naked in front of others is easier than risking authentic self-disclosure. And so here, I find myself wondering about nude images of self as authentic self-disclosure versus nude images of self as yet another mask behind which the true self remains hidden. And, I now invite you to share your thoughts about the naked self and self-disclosure.
As I am finding myself, I realize that that slippery “self guy” seems to keep reinventing itself. Once found, it morphes. Like the game Finding Waldo. I am pretty certain, as I peel off the layers, that maybe before my death, I definitely might be able to find me.
However, I think that most people don’t want to do this to themselves for fear of knowing their true selves, not the self their parents, family, culture, religion, society has made them to be. For surely, if they do, they will be alone in the world. I think not! I will take my chances. I know my real self is much better than what anyone has invisioned for me.
You are correct about others being unwilling to dig deep. They don’t want to learn the truth for then they’d have to do something about it.
What is self? I like to think — and believe — that the true self is an immortal spirit, a divine spark of the Great Spirit that fills the heavens and Earth and all dimensions in between.
As George Harrison sang in Love Comes to Everyone, “there in your heart, something that’s never changing/ Always a part of something that’s never aging.”
The master Jesus also pointed out to people that they are gods.
That’s the true self that I know — at least, I think I know. But I do feel it in my heart, like George sang. I felt it as a child when the Beatles were still singing love songs, well before George developed into the spiritual guru he would later become.
So, that has been my guiding light all these years, even if sometimes I let it slip out of sight and got caught up in the illusionary nature of the world.
But I do believe the world is a playground for we gods, for better and for worse. Because as Krishna pointed out on the metaphorical battlefield between armies, why fear death when one knows they are eternal beings who will incarnate again and again until the day of the universe segues into night before a new dawn begins . . .
As for naturism and social nudism, I see the body as the vessel for the divine spark, just as Krishna’s chariot was the vessel for his soul. We should be free to do with it as we wish. That’s one of the reasons why I support naturists and people who tattoo their bodies and get facelifts and gay and lesbian people and trans people etc.
Ultimately, the only thing that really matters is the love you give to the world . . . as so many sages and singers have mentioned over the ages. When I read your words, Robert, I am getting a glimpse of the love in your heart, in this case expressed through the medium of naturism. It doesn’t really matter to me if you are clothed or naked; it’s what is emanating from your heart that really counts.
You bring brotherly/sisterly love to naturists, as do so many others. That’s what I love about naturists, and it’s another reason I embraced naturism.
So, that’s the self I know, and it’s from that starting point that I set out in the grand adventure of physical incarnation.
Hope I didn’t get too far off-topic here, but these words wanted to come out. And that has a lot to do with what you wrote, doesn’t it?
Cheers, my friend.
“Ultimately, the only thing that really matters is the love you give to the world ” I couldn’t agree with you more, Jillian. Sadly, doing this, giving love, is probably the hardest thing to do as it demands that one is gentle with oneself.
Lovely blog Robert and thank you for choosing to illustrate it with one of my images which was appropriately, one I hadn’t intended to share
If I’m to live my life authentically, that means being truly transparent. In my work, I see how clothes present a mask to the world, how the voice alone can lead one to make a judgement call about someone before you even meet them (as a therapist, I try not to let ego intervene and judgements intrude but hey, I’m human, that inner voice will chatter away sometimes). Then, when someone arrives for a treatment, someone who might perhaps have been very senior in their professional lives, who has a terse phone manner or someone dripping in designer, once they’re in a trusted space with a therapist (assuming rapport) the guard comes down. The process of Case History taking, is akin to peeling away the layers of the onion and the self starts to emerge. For the treatment itself (I’m a sports and remedial massage therapist), the clothes are removed as far as the Client themselves feels comfortable, usually partially clad or naked and then people really begin to come into their body and trust and let go to the process of receiving a treatment.
I lose myself outside, through music, reading, mediation and sex but we won’t go there ha-ha, since that’s the elephant in the room so to speak. Those times when everything else seems superfluous. I can shut the world out and it’s myriad demands and feel truly centred but I have to consciously disengage from the chatter, noise and electronic devices which foist their way into our daily lives.
My self-disclosure comes through my words when I write on my blog socksoff or historically through the blogs and articles I’ve written. I still choose to withhold aspects of my life which I feel to be private and personal. Finding my authentic self doesn’t mean I have to lay everything on the line. Finding myself transpires during those rare moments of clarity when one feels truly present; little flashes of cognition, insight and peace.
“My self-disclosure comes through my words when I write on my blog socksoff or historically through the blogs and articles I’ve written. I still choose to withhold aspects of my life which I feel to be private and personal.” Of course, there are degrees of self-disclosure that need to be in place for one’s sanity and security in this modern world. We do need to choose with whom and when and what is disclosed. The more disclosed, the larger the return to ourselves in terms of uncovering our own blind spots regarding our knowledge of self.
Reblogged this on Naturalian's Blog and commented:
I definitely feel that without clothing I am the real self and hiding behind clothing makes me behave and communicate differently.I don’t care if people around me are clothed or naked, as long as they accept that I want to behave in my own way
Thanks, Mike.
It looks like Emma got suspended off twitter and is appealing it.
She did, now at three weeks.