The first week of extra classes are done for me. My wife still has another class to teach this morning. Then, we will have the weekend off to go and do more exploring. We are planning on doing some dancing in the square along with almost a hundred others, all older Chinese couples for the most part. I have been meditating every day and finding it to be invaluable for my sanity.
I have avoided talking here about my mother, something that surprises me. I have always been her golden child, her first born according to her. This past summer I went to British Columbia to visit her and my brother, D. He lives close to her place and has been the one responsible for meeting her needs. My mother is in the hospital and it doesn’t look like she will leave it alive. She is on dialysis several times a week. My brother and I took care of all the legal documents regarding her care. Since the summer, my brother has been keeping me up to date on her progress.
Though she calls me her golden child, my conscious memories of life at home as a youth tell me a different story. I know that I don’t have all my memories of that time and those memories that I do have, she had denied as ever happening. I knew that she would never divulge anything that had a dark core. Now, because of doing my own psychoanalysis [and this includes dream work], I wonder if what is lurking in the shadows has to do with her. Only time will tell.