Why Tell the Whole World I’m a Naturist? – Nude Psychology 101

The hidden self, stuck in an inner darkness waiting for others to give permission to be authentic.

More often than not, when I begin to reflect on something I have read from my Buddhist studies, I do so from a deeply personal point of view. Yet, to be truly transparent and authentic, I must allow my self to be exposed here rather than remain hidden behind the words I write here.

So why is this important? My wife is always asking me why I find it necessary to tell the whole world I’m a nudist rather than keep it private. I guess the best answer that I can give, is the answer I give her, that in keeping it all private, there is an oppressive sense that I am hiding in a closet in order to stay safe, something that I physically had to do as a young child. I hid in boxes, closets and elsewhere hoping to be safe. In the past as I got older, though still a youth, I learned to hide within myself, build barriers so that I would not be seen and thus not hurt, as much. As an adult, the barriers were thick, so thick that I lost track of what had been hidden in efforts to protect my self along with all the garbage, the history and the shame. I was a successful, very successful teacher, coach and therapist. Even though I am an introvert, I was able to be active enough in the community to be respected. It all worked until the barriers began crumbling.

Stepping forward, emerging from the darkness in spite of the turmoil.

I am somewhat of a slow learner when it comes to dealing with change. I spent years trying to patch up the cracks with no success. When it finally became evident that I couldn’t stop the collapse of the dam holding back all that I had denied about myself, denied to myself, to my wife, to my family and to the world, I ran – literally. And when running everyday through blizzards and all sorts of weather failed to give me the release, failed to slow down the flood of contents spilling out into my life, I began to run in a different way. I found myself becoming a principal in a new school every year until the last school where it seemed there was no where else left to run, a school in which I was the principal for three years before retiring. Still, the running continued as I hurried from country to country with camera in hand, hoping that the distractions would be enough.

In spite of the running, in spite of a return to meditation and becoming a Buddhist, in spite of a return to naturalism and of taking the opportunity to relax in retirement, I found that I continued to deny myself. I continue to look to others for permission – no permission, then I would attempt to bury the need and the desire and hope it stayed buried so that I could be accepted as a somewhat normal person. Of course, there is no such thing as a normal person, but there is a range of normality within which I still don’t feel I fit in and belong.

That leaves me with one final option – to hell with it all and just be my self, warts and all. Good answer? Who knows, it is my answer.

 

3 thoughts on “Why Tell the Whole World I’m a Naturist? – Nude Psychology 101

  1. Pingback: Why Tell the Whole World I’m a Naturist? – Nude Psychology 101 | Nudie News

  2. I think the one reason, IMHO, to tell the world you are a naturist is to be just one self. I’m no psychologist, but hiding traits of personality can lead to paranoia. Being one self is accepting who we are entirely. Of course, telling and not hiding is not shouting or bragging, but accepting who we are, irrespective of other people judgment. It’s hard and requires wisdom, but creates an inner peace that makes you feel so good and connected to others, nature and the universe. This is why we naturists, tend to look for other naturists who understand this feeling.

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