Archive for May 22nd, 2012
I am back in Calgary after six nights at home in Saskatchewan. I will stay here for almost two weeks before returning home. As I was driving back to the city the skies decided it was time to add a lot more moisture and for the most part, the land needs it. But, the dark clouds and gray skies didn’t make the return to Calgary feel to enjoyable. After less than an hour back in my suite here in the city I began to wonder what I was doing here instead of staying at home. Yes, I felt sorry for myself. Gray skies have a tendency to accentuate inner darkness. Of course, my response to the weather and the return to the city was enough to tell me that I was indeed here for a good reason. So, I continue on with the process of analysis sessions with my trusted guide.
In entering analysis I thought I was prepared for the work, and for the most part, I am. However, like these clouds threatening over the mountains, there are quick storms that will yet come to test me and my resolve to continue this work until I have a clue as to what I do next. For me, that is the biggest hurdle. I have no planned “next step.” I know that with my being able to see a path going forward, the work will begin to taper off in frequency until it only becomes all about maintenance and professional supervision as I return to my practice as a counsellor and therapist. As part of the process in helping myself find an orientation to life after analysis I have begun to construct a sort of “bucket list” of things that I “want” to do with the time remaining. Somehow, I anticipate a long life lasting twenty or more years. Regardless of that likelihood, I am building the list as if I had only five years left to live in order to discourage myself from procrastinating on things that I feel are important. When I am finished the list, I will bring it here.