Archive for August 22nd, 2011
A few days ago I was in downtown Toronto and got this photo from within the sports centre which plays home for the Toronto Blue Jays (baseball) and the Toronto Argonauts (football). I like to pretend with others that I am an avid fan of sports, especially hockey. But the truth is I find it hard to be more than just slightly interested, just enough so that I can find something to talk about with others who don’t otherwise share any other interests. Sports is a diversion, something that fills in spaces of time and provides an opening to relationship with others. Knowing that sports will be the ice-breaker in most situations, I make the effort to stay informed.
I am finding that the hardest part of my journey is that of relationships with others. I love being on the sidelines as it provides me with the excuse that it is my choice to engage or not engage with others. But the truth is that I feel awkward and don’t know what to say. When I do open my mouth it is only to find that others aren’t really listening to my words as they are facing the same struggle of what to say. So many of us are feeling trapped within our own heads and don’t know how to be authentic with others. What do we talk about, what can we say? So, like so many, I retreat into pleasantries about the weather and sports. Once I get to “know” these others I dare to talk about more, perhaps about world events in general terms. But mostly, I listen and smile.
I have my passions that make me soar as the jet in this photo. Photography is one of my passions as is Jungian psychology, something that is quite evident here. I am also passionate about politics in the sense that I am upset with how governments in my country and other countries are so disconnected from their own citizens. Collectively we have so much education, so many good ideas, so much wisdom when it comes to being good citizens of planet earth. Yet, we ignore all that we know and focus on power and political survival at all costs. I am also passionate about being in nature and a part of nature, a natural man with the feeling of the sun warming not only my skin, but my inner spirit. But how do I talk with others about these passions? I try but often my passion becomes too much for those who listen; it’s as though they feel overwhelmed by a tidal wave of passion as I soar with my words that have been ignited by some small opening.
Eventually I return to earth and see the glazed looks and retreat into a safer world of pleasantries much to their relief.