Archive for April 11th, 2011
During a tour of the People’s Number 1 Hospital in ChangZhou, while in the Intensive Care Unit, my wife collapsed. Immediately a team was doing all in their repertoire to deal with the situation and soon had my wife in a bed on monitors. In the end, nothing serious, just a combination of flu and circumstances. This occurred on April 6th and has had a lot to do with my three-day silence. All is now much better and a worry has lifted. For those who don’t already know, I have been married to this same lady for almost 40 years. We are very connected though I don’t know if it shows in my posts as I rarely mention her existence. Why? For me, trying to plumb the depths of my own psyche, I try to keep it as individual as possible.
The avoidance is more about trying to avoid inadvertently bringing in projections, avoid focusing on other even though that other is a significant part of my interactions with the world. With all of that said, I intend to continue bringing my self to this blog as I navigate the images that bring some awareness to my own depths and darkness.
The tour was about the administration honouring me and the guests that I had brought to visit the hospital. I saw that “otherness” was being valued, almost unconditionally. Though we were just middle class Canadians, we were being treated as VIPs by the staff and administration. As we toured the hospital’s museum I was shocked to see my photo on the wall of honour because of a lecture delivered there in 2007. The photo also caught the vice-president by surprise. At that point I was wishing that I was somewhere else as it stole attention away from the others for whom the tour had been arranged. And this feeling lies behind the selection of this photo.
What the photo does, is tells me that I am not fully in control, that I must trust the presence and efforts of others, and that one must not succumb to hubris which is easily slain by the shadow. It reminds me to take nothing for granted, to treasure the small moments which are easily snatched away.