Archive for August 18th, 2010
Tension of Expectation
This is just a tiny section of a larger photo, the second photo taken with the new Sony A550 with a Minolta 35-70 mm lens. I have about 1/8th of the original photo here, which shows me just how much resolution the new camera has. There are a a lot of lessons in store for me in the future as I experiment to see just what this camera and the lenses can find in the visible and just barely visible universe.
Along with the excitement of the new camera is a corresponding worry about the new lens that has yet to appear. Now, I worry about whether or not it will come in time before I leave. It is easy to slip into a state of negativity, a loss of faith in others when situations like this arise. Do I trust the person who sold me the camera and the lens, for which I have already paid in full? Needless to say, there is a state of anxiety in holding to this tension. My nature tells me to trust that all will work out, but another voice within tells me that I have been betrayed by others, that I will have to take the old camera to China, that I have been grievously wounded by the world. Negative expectation in a tense battle with positive expectation as though in a tug-of-war.
Until the lens arrives this tension will continue to sit within and effect my ability to approach the rest of my life with clarity. Like this photo, I am perched just above the wounding barbs, suspended. Will I fall into the barbs or will I cross the bridge provided. Only time will tell.
