Archive for July 18th, 2010
I was lucky to get this shot of the moon as it makes its journey to fullness once again. It seems to storm most evenings preventing sightings of the moon. For a brief moment, the dark clouds broke before sunset and I was able to capture this shot.
I have been thinking of what I am trying to do with this blog, why it even exists. Is it simply a private journal made public? I don’t think so. Is it about my need to continue being a teacher? Likely this is a large part of why this blog exists. But, I also think it is about my ego having a conversation with my unconscious. Maybe I have to explain this a bit, especially the “conversation” part.
The images I post here are those that pull my attention. I guess it is more of the unconscious choosing the photos leaving me to engage in some active imagination with the photos in order to discover what is trying to come to the surface of awareness. As well as the images, I have about four or five books that I am reading or re-reading at any given time. I know that subconsciously what I have been reading is also working in the background as though simmering on the back burner of a stove.
When I sit down to enter all of this onto the keyboard to build these posts, I have some thought in mind and I usually have a train of thought that I want to follow. But almost as soon as the words start to come out, that original intent is often thwarted. For example, today I was intending to continue drawing upon John Dourley’s work. However, it was only moments after beginning this post when I set aside his book and reached for a different book, Edward Edinger’s The Aion Lectures. There was a quote there that demanded my attention. And, I am learning to honour this inner voice. In a battle between ego and whatever it is beneath that is calling my attention, I am learning to give up ego control to see what will emerge. The quote, is from Jung’s Aion:
“We understand the ego as the complex factor to which all conscious contents are related. It forms, as it were, the centre of the field of consciousness; and, in so far as this comprises the empirical personality, the ego is the subject of all personal acts of consciousness. The relation of a psychic content to the ego forms the criterion of its consciousness, for no content can be conscious unless it is represented to a subject.” (Jung, CW 9ii, par 1)
Since the ego is the centre of my field of consciousness, I have a bull-headed tendency to want my ego to mediate everything. It’s all about control and I want to be in control of something so important as my own life. Yet -and there is always a yet- when I try to force my conscious awareness to be in charge of everything, things don’t often go well. I somehow have had to learn how to “trust” to the inner voices which have their own agenda. Of course, I don’t abdicate my responsibility to my psyche, I watch carefully from the edges to see what emerges from the inner depths. And it is when I allow the stuff that simmers below the surface of consciousness to peek out from those depths, things somehow seem to go better for me. At those times, I feel a bit more whole.