The Power of Complexes
Along the journey, there are many trials and tests. The hero wielding a talisman and with the help of a guide at critical points, tames the monsters. And as distance and time take the hero from the battle with these monsters, those monsters become smaller. Little did the hero know that each of these were aspects of self.
I often forget all that I have thought I have learned as I face conflicts. Some small movement outside of my self, triggers an old complex, one that I thought had been “solved” in some manner. The flare up causes a retrenchment and reactive response that escalates the conflict. I feel under attack and build stronger defences and at times even start lobbing out my own missle strikes in retaliation. Then exhausted, I fall back and look out on the battlefield, the wreckage and begin to wonder “what in hell” had happened.
A bit of distance and it comes to me that the conflict was mostly self-induced. Old patterns emerged from the depths and act out old battles based on old fears. Now, if only I had been able to be in the present, there would have been no conflict. Of course, it would have helped if the “other” had also been able to be in the present and not acting out old dramas, historical dramas.
Wow! Isn’t that the truth. When I get those flare ups, now I can drop back and figure out what it is that I need to work on. Why it was that I got into that conflict in the first place. What old wound was I trying to protect or defend.
I’m happy that even though I didn’t catch it at the moment, I at least have enough presence to realize what just happened.
Paul
17 Aug 09 at 9:17 AM
I pressed submit too soon.
I have a ‘teacher’ of sorts at work. A guy about my age and I have to really be careful because we can get into it quite easily.
In examining this I know why he gets under my skin. He is the archetype of my father when I was a child. This guy is extremely opinionated, is ‘never’ wrong, and will give his opinion regardless of if he knows anything at all about the situation.
That was my father and, with him, I had no voice whatsoever. So, when this guy at work starts on one of his ill-informed rants, I nearly come unglued, determined to let my voice be heard, especially if he is talking about something that has to do with my project. It’s those same demons from childhood.
I feel for his kids, truly. They will have lots of issues to deal with. A quote from him: “Man! That guy over there is just like my kids. Always falling short!”.
He’s a great teacher for me. He’s showing me that I still have lots to learn about being present.
Paul
17 Aug 09 at 9:23 AM
Thanks, Paul, for the comments. I am amazed at how much I continue to learn as I read and re-read and then listen and re-listen to what life is teaching me. So many teachers if one is only willing and ready to do the work of learning.
Robert G. Longpré
18 Aug 09 at 11:07 AM